Part One of a three-part series.

My life as a masturbator began long before I had heard the term or even knew what it was. I have no recollection of when it started, but I remember I used to tickle my private parts in bed at night, and that it felt very good. There was no ejaculation or orgasm associated with this activity -- just a nice, intense feeling I enjoyed. I'm sure that at age 10 I was doing this regularly.

My parents never, ever discussed sex with me, and certainly not masturbation. In the schoolyard, however, this subject was -- although not discussed openly -- not exactly a taboo, and I picked up all the pieces of information I could get, mainly from older boys. At age 12 I knew how babies were made, and that the male ejaculates semen during intercourse. I was also aware that it was possible to make the semen come out by yourself, but I just didn't know how. I thought the tickling sensation and very excited feelings I could obtain when playing with myself was the top; I had no idea there was anything higher, and I figured ejaculation was an intentional act -- something one could do using a special technique. I sometimes tried to tighten the muscles in the lower part of my body in various ways and even to gently squeeze my testicles during my tickling sessions to try to make the semen come out, but of course nothing happened.

Not until the last part of the 6th grade did I learn the big secret. At a classmate's birthday party one of the games we played was hide-out, and I ended up with a boy from the 7th grade in the hayloft. It took a while before we were found, and for some reason one of our activities was to compare penis size. His was larger than mine, and he sounded very mature when he asked if I had tried to ejaculate. I said no, and he said: "You should try it, it feels soooo good." I asked him how, and he made a couple of strokes to indicate what he meant. By this time we could hear that we would be found soon, and there was no further opportunity to touch the subject that day.

The short explanation I had gotten confused me. The stroking he had indicated was a regular part of the "game" I played with myself, and that had not yet led to any ejaculation. Thinking the main purpose of this was to get an erection, I continued with the muscle exercises and squeezing while playing, but still nothing happened. I could get the excitement up to a certain point (which I still considered being "the top"), but I also felt a very strong urge for something more. I began to experiment a little, and among other things, I used two pillows to simulate intercourse. The feelings were strong and nice, but the "urge" was stronger than ever.

I badly wanted to talk to the older boy about this subject again, but he was not a regular friend and I was afraid to be laughed at. On one of the last days in school before summer I was hanging around in his vicinity at recess, and suddenly the opportunity to talk to him in privacy was there. I took the chance and asked him openly how to do it. Much to my luck, he did not laugh me out but was very serious, and he repeated the thing about the stroking. What was different this time was he said it was just a matter of keeping going with the stroking, and that the ejaculation would happen eventually.

Encouraged by this I went straight to my room after coming home from school, locked the door, pulled down my trousers, and sat on my bed. The erection was there in no time, and I started doing it how I had been told. As I recall, it took quite a while to get past the point I had previously considered as being "the top," but from there things started to move fast. Deep down in my abdomen a feeling which I had never experienced before started to develop. I instinctually knew this was "it," and I kept stroking, concentrated and determined. In a short time the feeling grew to something which was indescribably big and overwhelming -- so overwhelming that I stopped stroking just as the first of many squirts of thin, white fluid came out onto the carpet. Although I had unintentionally cut the orgasm in half, this was the most tremendous and powerful feeling I had ever experienced, and I felt a strange mix of surprise and satisfaction. I was also a little nervous over the wet spots on the carpet, and after cleaning up most of it I hurried downstairs to prevent my mom from coming up. For the rest of that day I couldn't think of anything else but my newly discovered secret, and I felt very proud and very mature. I still consider that day one of the major milestones in my life. I was fully aware what the word "masturbation" meant, and I knew it was going to be an important part of my life.

To Part Two


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