Part One of a two-part series; read Part Two.

My first masturbation session was probably at age 15 and a half (yes, I know it's late), in the bathroom during the school holidays. I had read a section on masturbation in a book my parents had bought, and I was trying out the technique. Nothing seemed to happen, but it felt good, so I continued. After about 10 minutes my body was wracked with an incredibly powerful orgasm, causing me to cry out involuntarily. (Fortunately, nobody else was home.). My ejaculation was feeble — a tiny droplet of clear liquid appeared at the end of my penis. I couldn't believe what had just happened; I remember feeling incredibly proud that I was ready to be a father, glad that I was finally getting somewhere in my development, but still worried about my penis size (under 2.5 inches erect at that time).

Penis size has always been a bit of a problem for me. During showering after sports lessons at high school, others would stroll around butt-naked, their manhood swinging without a care in the world, and it seemed everybody in my year was "large." I remember skipping showers to prevent people from seeing me. Unfortunately, I was seen during the last week of my penultimate year and was taunted relentlessly for the whole week. (They forgot by the next term.)

Anyway, I first started masturbating regularly during my last semester of high school when I was taking my exams. I usually had only one exam per day, so when I got home, the rest of the day (until the family got home) could be dedicated to masturbation. Among other places, I masturbated on my bed, in the bathroom, naked in the garage (with the door closed), in the front room with the curtains open (my most ambitious), with the best place being in the loft of the house. Our house was semi-detached, and the loft space wasn't divided with a wall, and subsequently the people living at the house next door could have caught me at any time. They nearly did, but I managed to climb down the ladder, naked with an erection. This free time for masturbation taught me a lot about pacing myself to get a better orgasm, lubes (a *very* sore penis due to a whole week of frenzied masturbation forced me to find something!) — I started off using soap but found it caused the bit just under the head of my penis to become very sore (I'm circumcised due to problems at a very young age), so I changed to hand/face cream. I found this not only noisy (no good for the thin walls in my house) and difficult to remove if I wasn't in the shower. I've now gone back to using nothing if I'm not in the shower (I just grip lightly) and hand/face cream or shower gel if I'm in the shower.

When I first started masturbating, I had a big problem with guilt. The feeling I got after masturbation would depress me so much I wouldn't try it again until at least the next day, unless I forced myself — which was a shame really, because when I first started, I could start again instantly having orgasm after orgasm. Nowadays (I'm 19) I don't have a problem with guilt (mainly because I found JackinWorld), but I can't start again so quickly after orgasming - what a bummer.

Learning to drive at age 17 proved massively beneficial: I could take my brothers and sisters to school and return home to an empty house almost every day of the week. Also, we had moved to a detached house, allowing me to make as much noise as I wanted. Soon after moving I got myself Internet access and found JackinWorld, which gave me confidence to try new things (such as anal stimulation) and different variations. It also helped me with my size obsession, showing me that I'm perfectly okay.

Although I'd like to try mutual masturbation, I've never been able to. When I was at school I hadn't yet started puberty and so didn't even know about such things. I would like to ask one of my brothers (a year younger than me), but I don't think he would want to — he's not really that sort of person. I was thinking about asking my other brother (he's nearly 15), but again, I don't think he'd accept.

Masturbation and sex are very taboo in our family. It's just not mentioned, and if a TV program comes on that contains sex, the channel usually gets changed. I've only ever had one conversation with my brother (18) about it, and that was a very short "Do you do it? Yes, so do I" sort of thing.

To Part Two


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