Part Two of a three-part series; read Part One.

Things changed once I got to high school. While we still made jokes about masturbation, no one ever talked about it seriously, and none of my high school friends would ever have entertained masturbating together. I did find out one of my good friends had masturbated years before we met with someone with whom he was no longer friends, but he attributed the act to early adolescent curiosity. It was during this period I decided, for reasons I have now forgotten, that I was masturbating too much. I cut back to once every 4 days, even using a calendar to indicate when I ejaculated — an "I" for intentional masturbation, and an "O" for out-of-my-control, like a wet-dream. I still played voyeuristic games with neighbors and relatives, but they weren't my peers, and we really weren't masturbating (although I always seemed to end up having an orgasm, which fascinated a few kids, and made me worry I suffered from the dreaded premature ejaculation). Still, I enjoyed masturbation very much, and I remember vividly the strangest place I have ever masturbated: walking through the woods by a pond. (Yes, I was walking AND masturbating simultaneously, tempted into it by a pair of white polyester trousers that were a bit too tight, giving me a huge erection. It was the 1970s, and tight polyester trousers were "in" — even though that day my penis was not!) It still amazes me how I avoided ejaculating on my trousers or my shoes.

College wasn't much better for being serious about masturbation. When I first arrived, I thought I should "grow up" and stop masturbating altogether. That lasted about two weeks! I still preferred masturbating in the bathroom, so I never worried about being interrupted. Still, no one discussed masturbation seriously, and although there were telltale signs my freshman roommate masturbated (also in the bathroom), the subject was taboo, and I felt I was one of only a few still doing it so regularly. Brief relationships sophomore year and senior year taught me a tremendous amount about sex, love, sexuality, and self-control. (I still ejaculated sooner than I wanted, but I learned the great benefits of the "Stop-and-Go" technique can be applied outside of masturbation.) Masturbation was still my major sexual outlet during my college years. It was during college I first heard the term "Onanism," derived from the Biblical story of Onan, the man who would not impregnate his dead brother's wife, and "spilled his seed." I have read Genesis 38:6-10 many times and still cannot fathom how it is a condemnation of masturbation. A condemnation of the rhythm method, perhaps, or the dire consequences of disobeying your father — but not masturbation!

After college, things finally changed. For whatever reasons, some of my friends and I started talking about masturbation seriously, admitting we still did masturbate — even in our 20s, even when in relationships. We talked about when and how we started (13-14 years old seemed the standard age), our initial fears and guilt (some of my friends thought they had broken something inside when they first ejaculated), myths we had lead ourselves to believe, attempts to stop (always failing), and on rare occasions where and how (it had never occurred to me to try the shower before one of these talks). Ironically, we never talked about how frequently we masturbated, which still seems to be a point of embarrassment. The only exception was a work colleague who admitted he indulged in his favorite pastime every other day. These adult discussions finally made me realize that the old joke "98% of all boys masturbate, and the other 2% lie" is probably not a joke but the truth! I finally started to relax and took a freer view to masturbating: masturbating whenever I wanted, with one exception — never on Sundays (or, more specifically, never 24 hours before Service, or not until 24 hours after). Even with our openness, I still have never masturbated with any of my heterosexual friends, and have only rarely masturbated with a few homosexual friends, and only when they were not involved in relationships. While these encounters have been physically and emotionally rewarding, strengthening our friendships, they have not occurred with the kind of frequency for which I have hoped. The most memorable of these infrequent sessions occurred on the occasion of my 33-1/3 birthday. (Hey, we celebrate a quarter of a century, so why not a third?) I invited two friends to my apartment to celebrate, and after dinner, we decided to watch a "safe sex" porno video. We ended up mimicking one of the scenes in the movie. One of my friends suggested a lubricant, and it was the first time the other two of us had ever tried a commercial brand. It was AWESOME! We did not masturbate each other, but watching two other guys masturbate as I masturbated was amazing.

Read Part Three.


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