Part Two of a three-part series; read Part One.

The physical changes in my body happened quickly after the 8th grade. I remember that one day, my penis — which previously would fit neatly in one hand — had suddenly grown and now stuck out a bit. It all changed so fast: In about 2 months I had more hair, a somewhat longer penis, and ejaculation! I was embarrassed to walk around at school because I had an erection all the time. I also noticed that the head of the penis changed color around the time of orgasm. I thought for sure everyone who saw my penis in the bathroom or locker-room at school would know my secret, and that I would be humiliated! Luckily it didn't happen; nor did I realize that everyone else was doing the same thing. I also discovered the wonders of stimulating the prostate, through pressing on the perineum, and also sometimes pressing at the rectum.

I remember being in such a constant state of sexual arousal that it started to affect every aspect of my life. Finally, I began to wonder what other guys were going through: Was I alone, or did others have similar feelings and experiences? I remember waking up once to feeling the bunk bed shaking slightly, only to figure out from the rhythm of the shakes that my brother (who was 3 years older than me) was masturbating in bed. I pretended to ignore this, but I got excited just thinking about it. When he stopped and got out of bed naked, with his penis semi-erect, I waited for him to leave and then masturbated intensely. It felt good to know others did this, too — especially my older brother. I also "caught" him masturbating once, and it was gratifying to be able to embarrass him for a change. My brother and I never talked about any of those times. I later learned that all 3 of my older brothers masturbated, which helped a lot with the guilt and shame.

I began to slowly explore sexuality with others. A friend and I looked at pornographic magazines his father owned and played with a deck of cards with 52 different sex positions. Sometimes we would pretend to get into those positions (like when I had been younger) and then talk about erections, etc. We finally worked up to feeling each other's penises: first through our clothes, then inside the underwear, and after a few instances of this, masturbating each other. My friend was more developed, so it was interesting for me to feel and see a bigger penis in action. I could hardly ejaculate once a day, let alone with any great amount, but my friend really could pump it out! Unfortunately, we both felt ashamed afterwards, and we never repeated or talked about the experience. That year when I was 13-14 years old, I had one other experience with a kid not as developed as me, so I got to return the favor of demonstration. There were other minor instances of sex play, but that was about it.

I also had my first girlfriend in the 9th grade, and I had sex for the first time. It was fun, but I think I was way too young to really understand it. I would have more experiences with girls later, during high school, and some steady girlfriends with whom I did some mutual masturbation.

But over the next few years, while my own masturbation continued, I didn't have too many opportunities to explore much with either sex. I would wake up with an erection and masturbate so I didn't have to walk across the hall to the bathroom with a tent in my shorts. This was a daily ritual, and I also did it again at night. My parents didn't know why I had suddenly taken to spending my evenings in my room watching TV. But one day my father decided to find out what I was doing, and he walked in on me spread-eagled on the bed with my penis in hand. I was so shocked and scared, but he just said "oops" and closed the door. He never talked to me about it, although I wish he had. I will know better when it is my turn. I do remember reading some books about sexual development, and when I came to realize that all the guys were masturbating, did I feel relieved!

Go to part Three.


Go to the JackinWorld Random Biography Picker

Go to the JackinWorld Biographies Index