The conclusion of a two-part series; read Part One.

Throughout my adolescence, I masturbated quite a bit — at least twice a day, and sometimes much more than that. Summers were great where I lived, because of all the privacy the forest allowed. But I took risks sometimes, too — masturbating on the beach in full view of whomever should paddle by (no one ever did), or in the house when someone was in the next room. The only time I was half-caught by my parents was before the house was completed. The ceilings weren't quite closed in, so sound traveled. While I didn't make much notice at the time, my bed squeaked something terrible, and my dad yelled out, "What's going on in there?" I replied with some dumb excuse, but they obviously didn't believe me. I just heard a chuckle.

Sex wasn't something I felt comfortable talking to my dad about, first because I knew pretty early on that I was interested in other boys and not girls, and second, because he often made jokes about the fact that I was going through puberty. It just wasn't something I felt I could confide in him about. But I found many answers in books, and I think I turned out okay.

On the property beside our house, there was a cottage that was used only one weekend a year by a family that lived several hundred kilometers away. I often went over there for privacy. One time when I was tanning nude in the summer sun, I masturbated, thinking I wouldn't be interrupted. Right after I had cleaned up and put my shorts back on, four boys came around the corner of the building where I was sitting. I don't know if they had heard me, or seen me, or anything — but they just said hello and kept walking down to the lake. This was strange, because normally wouldn't they have asked what on earth I was doing there?

Since then, I've had many fantasies about being "caught" — first with them in mind, then other people. I'm not sure why this turns me on so much, but it seems to work. I've been in many situations where I could have been "caught," but nothing happened — at work, in dorms I've lived in, while driving, while waiting alone at bus stops, at school, in washrooms, on the roof of apartment buildings I've lived in.

As a teenager, and as an adult in my 20s, I've had many male friends I've wanted to masturbate with, but it hasn't happened quite like that. I've had one major relationship for a number of years, and living together was great — especially when it came to sex. Prior to that, I was with a man for a month, and we were quite "busy," too. It was extremely liberating for me, because I'm often torn between the "free love" versus the "I only have sex with the one I love" mentalities. Right now, I'm feeling a bit more liberated — though I take things like AIDS and other STDs seriously. But I think I'll be a bit more forward asking people if they just want to masturbate together. Why not? We often talk of it, and we know everyone does it, so....

Before I moved away from home, I spent two winters and summers working closely with the same guy. He had a girlfriend off and on during that time, but he was quite accepting of my sexuality, especially for the small-town hick that he appeared to be. We went on several ski trips together, and he had no problem walking around in his small underwear in front of me, or going skinny-dipping at my cottage. It was difficult hiding my erection and obvious attraction in front of him. I suspect he wanted to fool around, but we never did. Once, we shared a room on a trip, and I woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of his heavy breathing and movements as he finished himself off. Since then, I've imagined joining him. I'm sure he would have said yes, and I still kick myself for not doing so.

I've never tried to quit masturbating. Why would I quit doing something I love so much? I've never felt guilty about it, either. Once in a while I hold off for a few days, just so the buildup will knock me out when I finally use it. But let's put it this way — I've never had a "wet-dream," so you can assume I've been using the release valves very regularly. I will be 27 next month, and I still masturbate once or twice a day — though not at any time in particular. I go through phases of masturbating first thing in the morning, or as soon as I get home from work. Or I'll be riding the bus and can't STAND IT, so I'll have to relieve myself as soon as I get somewhere semi-private.

Sometimes I use erotic stories to excite me ahead of time. I used to buy those little erotic story collections, but now that millions of stories can be found on the Internet, why pay? Visual images sometimes get me going, but not as much any more. Stuff I find on the Internet doesn't really compare to mental images or the real thing, so the work isn't worth it. I've had small collections of magazines featuring nude men, but most of the time I just use my imagination. Or, I just concentrate on the sensations at hand, or the sight of what I'm doing to myself, either looking down or in a mirror. Occasionally I simulate my anus, or reach in to tickle my prostate, but 90% of the time I stroke with one hand and massage my scrotum with the other. Right or left, it doesn't really matter to me. Sometimes I make it a quickie, but when I have the time, I like to draw things out as long as possible so the end result is really intense.

I've used all sorts of techniques — from the simple fist going up and down to more elaborate ones like those you find on JackinWorld. I occasionally use lube, especially on hot summer days when the skin of my circumcised penis grabs too much. But when it's cold, or early in the morning, I love just stroking bare, with the skin all smooth. I'm quite pleased with my penis just the way it is. I'm of an average size, and I don't see anything wrong with that. It's given me lots of fun, and my partners have been very happy with it, too!


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