The conclusion of a four-part series; read Part One, Part Two, or Part Three.

Another place I masturbated in front of people was on a bus, although of course no one knew what I was doing. I managed to arrange my penis so it was vertical, against my stomach; then, using the vibrations of the bus and slight movement of my body, I brought myself to a delightful — and very messy — orgasm! Other occasions that come to mind, though not in chronological order, include going to a cinema to watch a perfectly ordinary film and, being careful to sit on my own, wetting my pants deliberately during the film. I also did this at times while going for a walk, and when I was jogging.

Occasionally during my life I witnessed men playing with themselves in public toilets, and although it intrigued me and excited me, it never went further than that. Until a few years ago, that is. Once, going into a public urinal I noticed that 2 of the other 3 men there were masturbating — at least, playing with themselves. I later realized that they were soliciting and hoping to find a partner for homosexual sex. Watching these men playing with themselves excited me and I would get an erection and play with myself. I used to go to this particular urinal frequently in the hope of seeing a few erect penises being rubbed. Once a man masturbated to ejaculation — something I had until then seen only in porno films. A couple of times I became so excited that I myself ejaculated into the urinal, but usually I just enjoyed playing with myself and pretending to masturbate, to work up the other men. Occasionally a man would try to take hold of my penis, but I always found this rather degrading and left immediately.

A masturbatory method I am particularly proud of is masturbating into bread dough. One day I was kneading dough in the kitchen and — whether I was consciously or subconsciously fantasizing I don't know — I got an erection and soon realized it was going to end in masturbation. The soft, rubbery feel of the dough gave me an idea. I made a hole in it, put in some olive oil, and then took out my penis and inserted it in this culinary vagina. The sensation was fabulous! I pulled it out and pushed it in, backwards and forwards, until I started to ejaculate. The first few times I did this I ejaculated outside the dough, but finally I went the whole hog and completed the erotic experience by ejaculating into the dough, then kneading it in and baking "sperm bread." If only those who eventually ate it had known the secret ingredient!

This takes me well into my 50s, meaning over 40 years of almost continual masturbation. I did once remain "celibate" for over a year as I had decided that I really ought to stop, but I started again — I shall never forget that first masturbatory orgasm after such a long time. It was on a walk up in the mountains, and after spending most of the walk continually getting erections, I finally stopped by the side of the path and let myself go. After that, I soon made up for lost time. I also went several times for a "massage" — being masturbated by a prostitute. This was by no means as satisfactory as masturbating on my own, but somehow I had less of a guilty conscience about it!

I am now married for the third time, to a woman who has also spent her life masturbating, who still masturbates, and who enjoys talking about it. We have a wonderful sex life that includes masturbating in front of each other and, before we were married, masturbating over the telephone. I haven't yet masturbated to orgasm without my wife being present, but I have played with myself and visited the public urinal several times, always telling her. She does occasionally masturbate to orgasm when alone, also telling me about it afterwards. We watch pornographic films together, masturbating as we do so, and talk openly about our masturbating experiences — she knows everything I have included in this document, and she has excited me with her masturbatory tales. I think it is probably only a matter of time before I masturbate on my own again, the difference being I shall always tell her about it.

I have had a rich masturbatory life. Some may be shocked, others may be horrified. I can honestly say now that I do not regret anything I have done in the slightest, and warmly recommend anyone to try any of these forms of masturbation which take their fancy. My advice is, take it out — if you haven't already — lie in front of a mirror, and enjoy yourself, taking Woody Allen's advice: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love!"


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