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  (continued) Newest techniques on this page start here. THE BANANA SPLIT  Lay out a split banana on four fingers, palm side facing you. (The banana can run parallel or at slight angle — don't use the end that attached to the tree, as the stem gets in the way.) Lay your penis on the banana, and lay the banana's other half on top of your penis, and secure with your thumb. Now massage your penis head between your thumb on top and fingers underneath. You can slip the base of the thumb over the banana and take some deep strokes to relieve the pressure on the head now and then. Variations in pressure can help build an explosive orgasm. This method's author claims it "comes close to duplicating a very talented mouth."
COLD AS ICE When you start to get close to ejaculation, place two to three ice cubes on your scrotum or crotch. The feeling is incredible, especially at the moment just before orgasm. VARIATION: DOUBLE-BAG IT Take two sandwich baggies. Fill one with hot water (but not so hot that you can't put your hand into it), and in the other baggie put about 5 ice cubes and a little cold water. Masturbate one-handed with the warm baggie on your scrotum — and when you feel orgasm approaching, switch baggies so the cold one is on.
TWO PILLOWS & A CONDOM  Put one pillow on top of another lengthwise on your bed. Place the top pillow forward about halfway relative to the bottom one. Put a little liquid lube inside a condom and put it on. Place your penis between the pillows, and hump away.
THE SOCK PULLER Turn a sock inside-out, and put it over your penis. Then grab the loose ends on both sides with both hands, and — without touching your penis — move the sock up and down.
THE TWO-PILLOW MOCKUP First, get two fluffy pillows, approximately the same size. Place them side by side on (preferably) the bed. Position your erect penis in the crack between the pillows. Next, adjust the pillows to effectively create a "vagina": push the sides of the pillows toward your penis, and then roll the pillows' outer edges under you so your penis is up off the bed somewhat — this way when you thrust you won't hit the mattress. Now, reach under and adjust your penis so it's pointing downward at a slight angle (or however you prefer). Readjust the pillows for tightness, and pump away.
HUMP, HUMP, HUMP YOUR BOAT  Take a small, inflatable vinyl pool raft and fill it with air — not completely full, but nearly — and put it in your bed (under the covers if it's a chilly night). Take off your clothes. Now, put some lubricant in the center of the raft and on your genitals. Saliva works very well — just build up a mouthful and let it out on your penis and the raft. Lie on top of the raft and test it by rocking back and forth, "riding" it. It should feel intensely wonderful and slimy — if not, add more lube. With practice you should soon have a wonderful, portable companion that feels much better than masturbating with a hand.
HANG A TOWEL Lie on your back with one knee bent and raised. Place one arm under that leg to support it with your forearm, and grab your penis with a well-lubricated hand. Hang a towel over the raised ankle so it brushes your buttocks and testicles. Slowly massage your penis as the towel stimulates your scrotum and perineum. The dual sensation of masturbating and something gently brushing your genitals and buttocks will deliver a very strong response.
BOY IN THE BUBBLE Unroll a condom (one that's clear and without spermicide) and blow it up like a balloon to a size slightly smaller than a bowling ball. Pinch the open end an inch or two from the end, place it over the end of your erect penis, and then slip it all the way down. Allowing a little of the air to escape lets it slip down more easily, as does some lubrication. Your penis will be encased inside the clear "bubble." Now, experiment with different movements — press down on the condom, tap your penis onto the sides, etc. When you're ready to ejaculate, you can just stroke and watch the semen shoot out onto the insides of the condom. Cleanup is easy, but one caution: Hold on tightly as you slowly let out the air; otherwise the condom fly off your penis like a rocket and propel your semen all over the place.
HOT TOWEL, ANYONE? Soak a small flannel hand towel in hot or warm water for a few minutes until it is quite hot (but be careful not to burn yourself). Take it out of the hot water, squeeze out some but not all the water, add some water-based lube if you like, and wrap it around your penis. It feels like a real vagina, and when you are finished you can even use it to clean up the semen.
THE FLASHLIGHT & BLANKET Here's a method that's handy to use at night in bed. Being sure that your blankets are tucked tightly under the mattress, get under the covers and place a flashlight onto your penis, near the scrotum, and use it to "tent up" the covers. Your penis should be at a 90-degree angle with the flashlight — that is, your erection points toward your head while the flashlight points up and away. Now, rock your hips back and forth to stimulate your genitals; the tension from the blankets should keep the flashlight just tight enough to do this. By pulling the covers over your head in the dark, and having the flashlight on and pointing down, it makes a glow which may be seen through your scrotum — or, you can make it light up your pubic hair. You can either caress your penis while in this position or just rock back and forth until you ejaculate hands-free (although in that case you may get semen all over your sheets).
PUT A SOCK ON IT Put a sock on your penis and masturbate simply by pulling on the base of your penis. In doing so, the sock will move over the rest of your penis. One good thing about this technique is that you can do it almost anywhere.
THE ICE-COLD POUR Fill up a glass of ice-cold water. Take it into the bathroom, put up the toilet seat, and sit down like you're going to use it. (Alternatively, you can kneel in front of the toilet.) Start masturbating as usual, and when you are just starting to ejaculate, pour the ice cold water onto your pubic region, letting it fall into the toilet. If you're careful it won't create a mess, but it will create one hell of a sensation!
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