Everyone has a masturbation routine. Mine happens to be to stay up late every night and read JackinWorld articles, JackinQ&A, etc. Reading these always turns me on, and when I masturbate, I think about how cool it would be if I were in some of the writers' places. I don't look at pornography because I've been taught it is wrong. So, JackinWorld is my best stimulant for turning on. While reading, I masturbate without concentrating – just to get myself erect and very sensitive. Then I lie on my bed, and it takes about a minute to reach a great climax. Thanks, JackinWorld!
- age 16, North Carolina
This Week's Wackiest Responses:
Right before I masturbate, I like to eat a turkey sandwich with chedder cheese and mustard squirted in the shape of a penis. Afterwards, I like to eat 2 1/2 pieces of Pizza Hut Big New Yorker Pizza with 8 pieces of pepperoni on each slice. It's just a tradition for me. I don't know why I do this.
- age 16, Virginia
I'm a farmer lad and have lots of animals around. I like to stare at my donkey for about an hour. It *so* turns me on. Sometimes I give it a little poke. It's called Bill. I suggest that everyone try this!
- age 13, United Kingdom
What does this question mean? No wonder it's being held over for more responses. I thought about it so long I missed at least two of my regularly scheduled masturbation sessions!
- age 60, Michigan
When I have ejaculated, I like to swim naked in my pool or sunbathe naked. Once I sunburned my penis because I stayed in the sun too long.
- age 15, Australia
Lately, my wife and I have been apart for weeks at a time. So I start by calling her on the phone. With her insatiable desires, it doesn't take much from me to get her going. The sound of her moaning and turning herself on gets me going instantly. We have very good phone sex and usually climax together. These sessions are much better than anything I have by myself. So – does this even qualify as masturbation?
- age 36, Vermont
After masturbating, I clean up and go to sleep.
- age 18, North Carolina
My routine consists of setting the stage for masturbating. I choose what clothing to wear, decide whether I want lube, get a paper towel or tissue, and have a wet face cloth ready. During the session I also massage my testicles and nipples. Afterwards, I make sure to clean up, put things away, and dress. I depart from this routine when I am not alone, or I'm in a strange place where I don't feel comfortable masturbating, or I am not feeling "up to it."
- age 45, Canada
Before masturbating, I always lock the doors to my room. I live in a country where most people have conservative attitudes toward sexual behavior, so I feel less open about being walked in on. Even so, sex and masturbation are still relatively open topics within my family.
- age 17, Taiwan
I have come to enjoy eating my semen and find that it tastes better if I've brushed my teeth first. So, my usual routine is to brush my teeth before I go to bed and then lick up any semen I catch on my hands. If I should masturbate earlier or fail to brush my teeth, I avoid taking a taste because it doesn't taste as sweet as when I have brushed. I guess the toothpaste leaves a sweet taste in my mouth and it affects the taste of my semen.
- age 55, Ohio
I usually slap my penis around to get an erection. Then I start moaning to turn myself on. After I'm done, I rub the semen into my penis.
- age 15, Kansas
My routine is to sit down at my computer, begin reading an erotic story, unzip my pants, lube my erect penis with saliva, and rub it until I ejaculate into a towel. If my wife is home, though, I masturbate in the bathroom after becoming aroused by reading.
- age 60, Texas
Before I masturbate, I always rub lotion all over my body. I love the way it smells and feels. However, if I'm rushed for time, I can't do this. Afterwards, I like to rest and think about my orgasm.
- age 17, District of Columbia (female)
My present routine started just a few years ago. Before I masturbate, I start to stimulate my anus. Usually I rub it with a fingertip that I wet with some lubricant (usually saliva). This feels so good that I get more turned on until I just can't hold off any longer. At this point, I start to masturbate – usually 10 minutes into the anal stimulation. While I am masturbating, I tend to finger my anus as I play with my penis. I have noticed that with the anal stimulation I have much more "pre-cum." When I finally ejaculate, it's usually very powerful and much more intense than without the anal pleasuring. The only time I don't use this routine is when I am in a hurry or I just feel the need to pleasure myself quickly.
- age 28, New Jersey
I like to lie down naked and just relax for a while before I get down to it. I take some deep breaths and start thinking about things that turn me on. After that, I masturbate. I find that masturbating after this preparation is more enjoyable because I have had to wait for it. I can also enjoy it more, as I am not stressed. When I don't have time to prepare myself this way – such as when I am just plain horny – my orgasms aren't as pleasing. Therefore, I prefer to take a little time to get ready. After masturbating I always clean up, whatever the situation!
- age 18, United Kingdom
Before a masturbation session, I always secure my territory. I must make sure I'm alone or away from others. If I'm at my computer, my door must be locked. I also need paper towels, and sometimes lube. I use the lube if I'm horny enough. I also like to read some graphic stories that arouse me more. Then I proceed to the business.
- age 16, Florida
After is easy: get a tissue and clean up – maybe go to the bathroom. Before varies more. Sometimes I'm not even thinking about sex – I just want to masturbate. So I'll start running a fantasy or read parts of one of my erotic novels. I recommend "Blue Velvet" from Blue Moon Publishing; "The Leather Daddy and the Femme" by Carol Queen; and "Vox" or "The Fermata" by Nicholson Baker. Sometimes, I start with the fantasy and go from there. Sometimes, I'll be lying in bed with a full bladder, which causes the female equivalent of "morning wood," which leads to masturbating. Sometimes, I'll be reading erotic stories on the Web and stay on the computer, right hand on the mouse, left hand...well, elsewhere. The thing that's always the same is I have to be thinking about sex before and during masturbation. Sometimes, guys answering JackinWorld QOWs say they don't do that – that it's all about the sensations. My orgasms don't work that way. They are 90% mental and 10% physical.
- age 30, California (female)
For some crazy reason, I like to take off my socks when I masturbate. I guess I have a fetish or something. My feet make me horny when I hold them with my legs in a butterfly position and masturbate. I deviate from this method when I don't have enough time to strip down naked.
- age 18, Ohio
I usually masturbate in the morning when I shower. My penis is usually erect when I wake up, or nearly so. I go into the bathroom, start up the shower to get the room good and steamy, lube up my hands with Vaseline Intensive Care lotion, and massage my penis and testicles for 3 to 4 minutes, just savoring the sensations. Then I step into the shower and do the usual wash-up – but before I finish showering, I take my erection and lightly stroke the head of my penis against my palm. I then take my right hand, cup my penis head, and stroke myself to a very satisfying orgasm. The funny thing is that while I'm masturbating, I think to myself that I really want to lick and taste my semen from my hand when I ejaculate. It really turns me on to think that way – but once I ejaculate into my hand, there is just no way that's going to happen. However, the next morning I'm right back there thinking that same thought and ending up with the same result – a handful of semen and nowhere for it to go but down the shower drain.
- age 40, Pennsylvania
My routine is to get the baby lotion and set a chair in front of the TV/VCR to watch some adult films. I also have a cloth rag I use to catch my semen. When I'm done, I clean off the lotion. I depart from this routine when having a busy day (I have to masturbate at least once a day) or when I'm away from home.
- age 27, Ohio
My usual routine is to get horny in a chat room. While chatting, I open some pornography. Then after I ejaculate, I shut down my PC and go to bed.
- age 16, United Kingdom
Masturbation is becoming an important part of my spiritual life. Now I can see how important sexual desire and feelings are to my sense of well-being. I incorporate some form of meditation or erotic chanting or movement as part of my experience. I try to continue this procedure after ejaculation so things don't just end up with cleanup.
- age 56, North Dakota
Before I start to masturbate, while I'm getting an erection, I imagine I'm somewhere about to have sex or masturbate where I haven't been before. After I masturbate, I always pee. Even if I pee before I start, it still happens.
- age 15, Australia
I like to do some deep breathing exercises, some pelvic stretches, and then do the do. I like to run my fingers gently over my thighs, stomach, and breasts afterwards.
- age 24, Canada (female)
Every time I masturbate, I take out the video camera, set it up, and record myself masturbating. Then I masturbate again while I watch myself masturbating.
- age 17, Illinois
I like to spend considerable time when I masturbate. A typical session usually lasts 20 to 30 minutes. Setting up for it includes placing a chair (with a towel to cover it) in front of the mirror, opening a tube of cream, having a box of tissues available, and sometimes having either a magazine or video nearby. After I'm undressed, I slowly build up to the climax. Once I've ejaculated, I find that cleaning up is fast and easy. Once in a while I have a "quickie," but it isn't nearly as erotic or enjoyable as when I go through my "setup" ritual and have everything handy.
- age 24, Pennsylvania
Before I masturbate, I get naked and look at myself in the mirror. And then when I get aroused, I start rubbing various parts of my body – especially places with hair, like my chest and abdomen. As I become more aroused, I begin to alternate that with rubbing my scrotum and the spot between my testicles and anus. Then, when I go harder and faster, I explode all over. It's great.
- age 17, Utah
I masturbate in a kneeling position. Even if I am in a hurry and have time only to drop my trousers and boxers, I always take off my shoes and socks. When I am about to reach orgasm, I run my finger down the sole of my foot. The sensation is brilliant!
- age 21, United Kingdom
After masturbating, I slowly milk my penis for about a minute to make sure I get out as much residual semen as possible. If I do not do this, the semen "tickles" my penis and ultimately stains the inside of my underwear as I go flaccid. Then I go to the bathroom and try to urinate.
- age 31, Illinois
I love to put newspapers on the floor, with a tape measure rolled out. When I feel a nice shot building, right at the peak of orgasm, I stand over the paper, with the head of my penis roughly over the start of the tape measure. Then I ejaculate, deliberately trying to pump the semen as far as possible. It's quite a thrill to watch the streams of semen spew out of my penis. I get very excited. It has to be a great orgasm to get really good distance, but it sure is satisfying when I do. It's best to go a day or two without release first. I've counted as many as 7 streams, and I shot as far as 5 feet one time.
- age 35, Canada
I listen to music afterwards and drift into slumber.
- age 18, California
Before I masturbate, I always moisturize my penis with lotion. This just eases the friction, as I am circumcised. After I masturbate, I always urinate. I find that this clears my urethra of any remaining semen. If I do not do this, the last drop or two of semen tends to dry against my underwear and causes my penis to stick to my undies. Removing it can be painful!
- age 25, Oregon
Before masturbation, I walk about a half-mile to my favorite masturbation place – a small clearing on the side of a pond near my house. It is far from any of the houses and has trees to block anyone's view. However, I can still see the pond and feel the warm wind all over me. I like to strip completely naked during these sessions to enhance the experience. While I masturbate, I like to roll around, feeling the wet leaves and grass on my body. Afterwards, I simply get dressed and leave before anyone else comes.
- age 14, Massachusetts
"I play with my testicles for 20 to 30 minutes."
While lying in bed, I usually rub and play with my testicles for 20 to 30 minutes before I even touch my penis. They are extremely sensitive, and by doing this, I get very turned on. It also makes my orgasm much better. Since I usually masturbate at bedtime, I have enough time. However, if I am rushed for time, I skip this routine or do it only for a couple of minutes.
- age 24, Illinois
I have a routine for a while. Then after about 2 or 3 weeks, I change it. I don't want to lose the thrill of masturbation. I have a friend who can masturbate without making a single noise, and I don't want that to happen to me! Nothing ever really stops me from the current "routine," because I am secretive about the things I do.
- age 14, South Carolina (female)
First, I make sure either that nobody is around, or that they are where they won't interrupt me. Then I take off all my clothes and lie on my bed. If I have some good pictures or stories, I hold them in my left hand while I stroke my penis with my right. As the pleasure heightens, I move my left hand to my testicles and fondle them. As I get ready to ejaculate, I move the back of my left hand under the cap of my penis so I can deposit my semen there. When I am done, I lick it off. No waste of my precious sperm!
- age 39, Florida
I like to drink a glass of water an hour before I masturbate to increase the amount of semen I ejaculate. The only time I wouldn't do this is when I become extremely horny and need to masturbate right away. While I masturbate, I shout and moan in pleasure. When I ejaculate, I try to catch most of my semen in my free hand and then rub it into my penis (mostly the glans), my chest, and my lower abdomen. I let it dry before I dress again. It is quite a good skin moisturizer.
- age 21, Kansas
I usually masturbate while using my computer, since I like to look at erotic pictures or read stories. Therefore, I usually go to my computer and make sure no one is around before I masturbate. While I masturbate, I sometimes talk to myself. Afterwards, I usually clean up right away, and then I sit there in post-coital bliss for up to 5 minutes.
- age 18, Illinois
My routine starts with going to the bathroom and shedding all of my clothes except my briefs. I let my erection out of the fly and gently fish out my testicles. I then lube my right hand up with Astroglide, swirl my palm around the shaft of my penis to lube it up, and try to "beat the clock." I usually use the fist grip around the head of my penis. When I reach orgasm, I ejaculate either into the sink or into the toilet, to facilitate cleanup. Sometimes, I shoot at a target I draw on the mirror in soap. If my roommate is out of town I'll masturbate to some good porn and go deluxe, trying out new techniques and variations, taking my time.
- age 21, California
I start with intense visualization exercises, followed by nipple stimulation. I generally form an intense and detailed fantasy, followed by or accompanied with stimulating my nipples with both hands. Afterwards, I progress to masturbating while still stimulating my right nipple with my fingertips.
- age 19, Ontario, Canada
I usually spread magazines around my bed, and then snap in a video. Next, I pour a small glass of champagne. Then, I lube up my flesh-colored, tight-fitting toy. After squeezing and caressing my penis to great excitement, I insert it into the toy, turn it on, and take a ride. It fits tight and feels "authentic."
- age 61, California
I definitely have fallen into a routine, and I *love* it! First, I always strip in front of my full-length bedroom mirror – *very* slowly while I flex my muscles, especially my abs. I started working out about a year ago, and it makes me feel sexy to see the progress. Once I'm completely nude, I like to sit in a chair in front of the mirror and caress my flexed abs and my breasts with one hand while I touch myself with the other. After orgasm, I like to crawl into bed with just a sheet on and gently touch my whole body. The gentle touch of the cold sheet and my warm hands is always incredible. I love to try making time for my routine as often as I can – it's the BEST.
- age 23, New York (female)
After a typical masturbation session, I usually get the munchies. I end up snacking a lot after I masturbate.
- age 19, Idaho
There is no routine to my masturbation. I just do it. It may be at a different time every day – when I am horny, or when I am just plain bored and need something to do. The only thing that may be a pattern is that most of the time, I take a nap when I am finished.
- age 16, Pennsylvania
I generally spread my legs so that breezy air can reach my testicles; then I start slowly with my left hand while I caress my testicles with my right. I rarely deviate from this. Even when my wife watches me, if she's on my left side, she moves because she knows I need to use my left hand to finish.
- age 37, Hawaii
I love to caress my body with a feather before I start my session. Afterwards, I lie back in a half-awake, half-asleep state letting the tension drain from my body. I break from this routine if someone's coming home soon or if I'm in the shower.
- age 17, Missouri
Usually I try to convince myself I'm going to wait as long as I can until I decide to take off my pants. Then I tease myself until I can't take it anymore. I masturbate to near the point of no return; then I back off. I repeat this until I can't take it anymore, finally releasing and pretending nothing happened – knowing I'm going to do it again in a couple of minutes.
- age 26, Florida
After most masturbation sessions, I turn on some music. Whether it is trance, industrial, or black metal, I have to listen to some sort of music afterwards. I don't know why I do this, but I notice that right before I climax, I feel the urge to turn it on.
- age 16, Colorado
Before I start to masturbate, I like to touch and massage myself all over – especially places I don't normally touch. Once I start this, I get an erection, and then I begin to masturbate. Afterward, I like to touch and massage myself all over again. Because my penis goes through a time when it is flaccid, I particularly like to massage my genitals after I masturbate. All the sensations I get when my penis is very sensitive, and yet I cannot get an erection, are very nice.
- age 21, California
I play 3 sports in school, so when I actually get to go home at the end of the normal school day (instead of after practice), I treat it as a big event. I usually try to get myself aroused and "ready" on the way home – the vibrations on the bus really help! When I get home, I go straight into the bathroom or to my room for masturbation. I am usually the first one home at these times, so I can really go all out.
- age 16, New Mexico
I'm not sure why, but I have to be entirely oiled up before I masterbate. I take a shower and then cover my entire body in baby oil gel. I think I like the smooth feeling over my body, especially my nipples. With using the baby oil, I do not need lube to masterbate, for anal penetration, or to enjoy any part of my body. After I ejaculate, I never wash off – I love to fall asleep with my semen on me.
- age 21, Texas
I am pretty much a straight college guy who really gets into wanking, either with my girl or with one of my buds. When the guys get together for a masturbation session, it's intense. We all have girlfriends and love to watch porn. We usually pop on a video and start wanking. But when I have wanked with my girl, it seemed really awkward and strange. So, after about 3 times, I decided it's just too weird and that it's better just to have intercourse. I guess wanking with the guys is pretty tight. I don't plan on changing that anytime soon – especially when guys know how to wank other guys and make them feel good enough to get a good nut.
- age 19, Missouri
I always strip naked and lie on my bed. Then I start to slowly stroke my nipples until they become erect and I start to get an erection. I then transfer my attention to my penis. Drawing my foreskin back as far as it will go and wetting my fingertip, I circle the tip of my penis. I start to work it up and down until I get a powerful ejaculation. Then I lie there on the bed with a wonderful glow all over. My erection goes down slowly, and I can feel the semen trickle down around my scrotum. It's then a case cleaning myself up and looking forward to the next time. With this method, I can last up to a half-hour.
- age 60, United Kingdom