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 WHAT IS THE QUICKEST MASTURBATION SESSION YOU CAN REMEMBER?
I was 16 and was talking to a girl I'd had a huge crush on for a year. I was sitting on the ground and she was on a bench. I could see between her legs because they were slightly apart. She was wearing no underwear! I talked to her like that for 2 hours, and when she left, I ran to the toilets and blew in only about 3 strokes. - age 19, Australia
I was at my cousin's house a few years ago. We were in his room with my other cousin, his sister. Earlier that day, we had been talking about masturbation and sex. He didn't believe me when I told him I could masturbate, reach orgasm, and ejaculate in less than 30 seconds. So, while we were in his room, his sister went to the bathroom. That's when I decided to show him. I took down my pants, got an erection, masturbated, and finished in less than 20 seconds — then I cleaned up and got dressed again before she got back!
Once I was watching a porno video with a buddy, but we were not comfortable enough to masturbate in front of each other. So I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I didn't want to take too long (to suggest I might be masturbating), so I managed to ejaculate within 20 seconds, even though I had been aroused by the video for some 30 minutes.
Last week I was quite horny, so I rode my bicycle down to the park on the edge of town. They are building a walking trail that goes through the woods. I went on it, sat on a stump, took out my penis, and started to masturbate. In about a minute I had one of the best orgasms ever — probably because I could have been seen.
Some years back I went to California on a business trip. I entered my hotel room in the early afternoon, and upon opening the room's drapes, I noticed a beautiful young couple having oral sex on a beach chair below. They were not naked, but rather dressed as if they had just stopped after work. I was instantly aroused and stripped my trousers down in a hurry. I actually counted just 12 strokes until I erupted with the most forceful orgasm. That was probably the shortest time I've ever experienced between the "stirring in the groin" and the "release."
I was joking around with my friend about strip poker and was horny as hell. He went to the bathroom, so I took out my penis and pumped for 5 or 10 seconds until I climaxed. Just then, he came out and gave me a funny look. I think he knew what I was doing and thought it was weird. Unfortunately, we never hung out again after that.
When I was in high school, there was a boy who really turned me on. Finally, he asked me out on a date. I was so excited that I ran into a restroom stall and brought myself off in about 40 seconds.
It was also one of my biggest ejaculations. Almost a year ago, I had just come home from hanging out with my girlfriend. We had been making out for hours, and it was one of the first times I had ever gotten physical with a girl. I was so aroused that when I came home, I literally ran into the bathroom.
I had just gotten home from high school on a day that I had been extremely horny. After a while, I couldn't help myself and decided to masturbate. Because I was home alone, I took off all my clothes and sat on my couch to do the job. Just as I started stroking, I heard the garage door go up. One of my parents was home early. I wasn't going to stop, because the feeling of getting caught gave me a slight rush. I finished masturbating as fast as I could and then grabbed my clothes and headed upstairs to dress and get cleaned up. Luckily, just as I had hit the top of the steps, my dad walked through the door. I barely made it.
I had to try on a uniform for our marching band and was alone in a storage room. I knew that most of my classmates were in the hall outside, waiting their turn. There I was — nearly naked. Hmmm, you do the math. About 15 seconds later, there I stood with a mess on the floor and wondering how the hell I was going to clean it up. Thankfully, I had fairly absorbent socks.
My fastest masturbation session lasted probably less than two minutes. I was 16, hadn't done my usual morning masturbation before going to school, and I had an erection in gym class that just kept returning. So I slipped up to the locker and restroom, ducked between two rows of lockers, pulled out my penis, and started going at it. I guess the unusual environment and the risk of getting caught added to my excitement, because I ejaculated incredibly quickly. And I was almost caught: Just as I was ejaculating, another guy came into the locker room and walked past me, perhaps 4 feet away. He was evidently in a hurry to go to the toilet and didn't notice me. My semen went all over the dressing bench and I had to go get some paper towels to clean it up.
I was standing in the line at KFC, and a hot girl was in front of me. Naturally, I got an erection. Luckily for me, I had big pockets and a baggy shirt. So, I put my hands in my pockets after pulling down my shirt. I reached with my index and middle finger from each hand and massaged each side of my penis. After about a minute and a half, I climaxed, but I didn't ejaculate.
When I was 15, I went on a hunting trip with my dad and family friends. After 4 days in a cabin separated only by sheets hanging from the ceiling, we went to town to get gas for the 4-wheelers. I went to the restroom at the Shell station, and in about the time it would take me to pee, I masturbated. It was very quick — probably only about a minute. It had to be; the other boy who was hunting with us walked in just as I was stuffing things back in.
My class and I were going on a class trip to Washington D.C. We spent 3 days there. On the way, I decided not to masturbate for the whole trip. However, by the third day, it got to me, so I had to do it in the shower. We were rooming in groups of 4, and the others would make fun of you if you spent more than 10 minutes in the shower. So I did it lying down in the shower for 5 minutes, because I had to wash in the other 5 minutes.
I was visiting a college for the blind with my girlfriend (she's blind, not me). We were eating lunch in the cafeteria, and they were serving tapioca pudding. For some reason the creamy tapioca made me so horny my ears started ringing. So I thought, What the heck, they're all blind anyway. So I pulled my pants down a little and very silently masturbated in front of them. It was so spooky — all those blind people looking right at me, but none of them ever knew.
One night, I was really horny and I wanted to masturbate. I already had an erection and just needed to go at it. I took it out and started to masturbate, but then I ejaculated prematurely. It took only about a minute. I was disappointed, but the horniness was relieved.
Recently I was on a trip with my best friend. We've known each other since kindergarten and grew up together. We used to masturbate together regularly when we were younger, but as we've grown up and both had relationships, we've stopped our regular masturbation sessions. We'd been on vacation together for 6 days and I was dying to relieve some tension, so when he went in for a shower (he's the fastest showerer in the world!), I went at it. It was great to know he was on the other side of the bathroom door and at any minute he could come out and find me stroking away. Actually, I was kind of hoping that would happen and we'd start masturbating together again. Anyway, it was one of the best orgasms I've had in a long time.
I was on a family vacation in Colorado. After a week of not being able to masturbate, I finally got more than the usual time in the shower. However, I didn't need it, because on the third stroke I ejaculated. I think it happened too fast for a good orgasm, however.
I was 13, had just learned how to masturbate, and wanted to test myself. I used a stopwatch to time myself. My record was 60 seconds. I have been trying to beat it over the years, but it still stands. [But what about your record? -Ed.]
My friend and I had just gotten back from two weeks at camp and we were relaxing in his Jacuzzi. We had just gotten done talking about the hot girls at camp when he had to go "get some water." Even though he or his parents could have walked in at any moment, I masturbated for a minute before having an orgasm. As if on queue, he came in when I put my swimsuit back on and asked me to go get some food. On the way out the door he said, "You could've locked the door and taken your time!"
When I was about 15, I watched my first porn video with a friend of mine. It was a huge turn-on, and I thought the erection I got would drive me crazy. I almost asked my friend if he would mind me masturbating, but I was too afraid to do that. So instead, I rolled onto my belly and rubbed my penis through my pants while he was looking at the screen. I ejaculated almost instantly. I'll never know whether he noticed, but when I told him I had a huge erection, he said he had one, too.
This summer, I was in the backseat of our car as I went with my parents to visit my grandparents in Florida. I got a boner that just would not go away, so I put a newspaper over my lap and rubbed off through my pants. It took about 30 seconds.
Once, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating, and it turned me on so much that I took off my pants and started masturbating. I think that was too much for both of us — we watched each other and had an orgasm almost instantly.
My quickest session was about 30 seconds. I was trying on a pair of jeans in the dressing room at Marshall's, and I suddenly thought about all of the other boys who had tried on the same jeans. I got an instant erection. I'm not gay or anything, but the thought of having my privates the same place where other boys have had their privates really got me going quickly. I didn't even have to masturbate much — I just touched myself a few times and it happened. I wonder how many other boys did that in those jeans before I bought them. They will always be special to me now.
I had to leave to go swimming with my friends, including some girls. I had to be sure I wouldn't get an erection during the session, which would have been embarrassing. Unfortunately I had only about 5 minutes, so I closed my eyes and went at it as fast as possible. I ejaculated very quickly — in only one or two minutes.
At summer camp, I was hiking and came to a small, grassy clearing. I was far from the main camp, so I thought no one would be around. I was lying in the grass, really enjoying masturbation outside, when one of the counselors caught me after some two minutes. We went for a walk while she lectured about masturbating in inappropriate places. I asked her if she ever masturbates at camp. She just smiled and said, "The clearing is a safe spot, but only at night."
I was in my 20s and working construction. I was using the jackhammer and had awakened that morning horny as hell. I don't think I lasted a minute on the hammer before I ejaculated in my undies. I couldn't wait to use the damn thing every day. I think I ejaculated once 5 times while using that machine. I sure wish I had one now!
I once masturbated in the bathroom between classes at my school. They only give you 3 minutes to get to your next class, and I wasn't even late!
This summer, my mom and I were driving from Pensacola to Orlando. The drive is several hours and I had fallen asleep in the front passenger seat for about half an hour. I woke up with a raging erection. I didn't try to hide it, as this doesn't embarrass me. Mom noticed and said, "Honey, do you have to use the bathroom?" I was like, "Sure!" So she stopped at a gas station, and I relieved myself. I got back in the car, and she asked if I felt better, giving me a knowing-mom type of smile.
My quickest session happened when I had my first orgasm. I was 11 and at my aunt's for a Christmas visit. I was asking my older cousins about sex and masturbation — I was *so* curious but was scared to try anything by myself. They were happy to answer all of my (somewhat ridiculous) questions, only laughing at me on a few, and then they showed me how to touch myself. First, they showed me how to do it by bringing themselves to orgasm, and then I tried. I was *amazed* at the sensations. Then all of a sudden, after only about 30 seconds, I started shaking like crazy, and then I just exploded. They told me I had just had my first "O," but that I might enjoy it more if I took my time. With a *lot* of experimentation over the next few years, I learned what they meant.
We have waterfront property, and I once decided to try underwater masturbation there. I went for a "swim," anchored myself to our swimming raft, and started pumping away. I used Vaseline as lube just to help me underwater. To my dismay, the Vaseline lured a school of sunfish, and they began biting me in my nether regions. They were getting closer and closer to my penis, so I had to finish as fast as possible to save my pride. From start to finish was less than 30 seconds, and to this day, I still rub a little Vaseline onto my fishing lures. It never fails!
Normally, being quick is an impossible feat for me. I need my time. However, several summers ago, I'd spent the better part of a month traveling. During both of my back-to-back trips, I'd been constantly in large groups, never having enough time or space to myself to do the deed. As you might imagine, this was quite a strain for a then 15-year-old boy in the midst of adolescence. By the time I got home, I was in bad need of some relief. Once finally in the comfort and privacy of my own room with my erection pulled out from my fly, I literally didn't have to do anything more than simply touch myself to be ejaculating all over the place. I'd say 10 seconds is a pretty short session!
Once when I was in Colorado, I had to share a room with two very attractive girls. Four days went by and I was dying to masturbate. The last day, all the adults went out together. I stayed home, planning to masturbate. When they left, I did so, and had a powerful orgasm in less than 40 seconds. It was amazing. About 20 seconds after I was done, one of the girls walked in. Thank goodness I finished when I did!
One time I was feeling very horny after working out at the gym one night. The gym was nearly empty because it was so late. As I stripped naked to take a shower, I immediately got an erection. The gym showers are the kind where there is one large room with shower heads along the wall. As I showered, I couldn't help but masturbate. It was one of the quickest ones I ever had. There were still guys in the locker room, and I didn't want them catch me red-handed, or rather, white-handed.
I was in the woods in a local park. I took off all my clothes and leaned against a tree. Being in the woods naked really turns me on. I ejaculated in about 30 seconds.
I was rushing to make a 10-hour plane trip to South America that would connect to a 5-hour bus ride to my family's home. I knew I had to masturbate before I got on that plane. I was so caught up in things that I didn't even feel the orgasm — just the pleasant mellowness after my 30 seconds of stroking. That was all I needed.
Early in the summer after a baseball practice, I was walking home with a friend, and we saw this girl through her window as she got out of the shower. We started saying how horny we were and how we had erections. Because it was dark out and no one could see us, we decided to masturbate right there. It was cool — with the danger of getting caught, I tried to ejaculate as soon as possible. I ejaculated within a minute, and my friend let loose right after me.
I saw my friend masturbating for the first time when I was 14; he is profoundly deaf and was unaware of me. This made me so horny I just had to masturbate, but I struggled to release my penis from my shorts, and I ejaculated without a stroke. It was very unsatisfying at the time, but it later provided me with a good deal of pleasure in future sessions. I never confessed to him about seeing him.
I was in the swimming pool at a friend's house. I had always wanted to know what it would feel like in water. My friend went inside to get something, so I quickly swam over to the pump, pulled off my bathing suit, and let the water jet hit my penis while I stroked it. It was intense. When I ejaculated, I cupped my hands together and splashed the remains out of the water. By the time my friend came back, I was done. It took less than two minutes. It was a pretty gutsy move, but I'll be honest with you: Even though I consider myself straight, I was hoping he would come back, see me, jump in the pool, and join in the aqua fun.
I was staying at a friend's house when I was 14 and accidentally saw his very *hot* sister getting dressed after she had gotten out of the shower. I know I shouldn't have looked, but I couldn't help myself. She didn't see me watching. After seeing that, I was so horny I had to go to the bathroom to relieve myself. It was a record — 8 strokes and I ejaculated — all in less than 30 seconds.
When I was around 16, I used to sit and watch TV in our living room on weekends. My dad would be asleep on the sofa and my mom at work. Sometimes I'd be in the mood for a quick session. So if my dad was snoring lightly, I'd pull my penis out of my shorts and masturbate quietly and quickly right across from him, and then ejaculate onto my T-shirt. A few times he would quit snoring or shift on the sofa, so I'd just cover up with my T-shirt if I thought he was awake. It was risky, but also fun. I'm sure he eventually figured it out and might even have pretended to be asleep so I could finish in peace. He was kind of cool that way.
After I was circumcised, I wanted to try out my changed penis. I hadn't masturbated for two months, so after about 40 seconds, I was away!
When I was 14, my then-girlfriend invited me over to her house. Her parents trusted me, so they didn't mind us being alone in her room. To that point, all we'd done was kiss. Right before I had to leave, she said she had to use the bathroom. She came back wearing her robe and, as I soon found out, *only* her robe. It was the first time I'd seen a naked woman. She started rubbing herself and asked if I wanted to join her. I ejaculated in 4 strokes. Still, as short as it was, that was one of the best orgasms I've ever had.
I was once reading an erotic story on the Internet. Usually when I do this, I read one story and then go upstairs to finish while I'm still aroused and the idea of the story is fresh in my mind. But that one time, I had my orgasm within about 5 minutes, without so much as touching myself. That's a record for me; most of my sessions are at least 25 minutes long.
I was home alone — the perfect time and place to get in a good, long session. I had been "prepping" myself for a while, taking my time because no one was supposed to be home soon. I had just started stroking away when I heard the garage open. I was in such need of an orgasm I went all out and ejaculated within seconds. It was a pretty good orgasm, too!
When I was in high school, a guy I had a serious crush on did something that turned me on and made my penis rock-hard. I tried to get him out of my mind, but I couldn't. So I ran into the other room, masturbated, and then wiped it off. I'm still a little paranoid that there was a hidden camera in the room and I'll end up on the Internet. It was worth it, though; it was definitely a turn-on for him to be in the next room — at any moment he could have walked in and helped me. When I saw him after that, I was worried he knew what I had done and that he was the cause.
When i was 13, I saw my brother's friend (whom I had a huge crush on) getting out of the shower. I started to masturbate and was so turned on I finished in about 12 seconds.
I was about 13 when I woke up from an intensely erotic dream. It took only a few seconds — and strokes — to climax. It was the best "quickie" I'd ever had up to that point. As I remember, I slept very soundly the rest of the night. | |||
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