The first time that I recall masturbating was when I was about 4 years old. We were visiting with friends and I was sent upstairs to take a bath since it was nearly bedtime. I finished my bath and let the water run out. I noticed that I had an erection, which meant nothing to me at the time. But I put my hand on it and liked the sensation. I am uncircumcised, so I started examining my foreskin. I discovered it felt good when I pulled it back, so I started moving it back and forth. I guess I must have been so caught up in the moment and the pleasure that I kept on doing it for a long time. Eventually my mother came looking for me, and found me in the bath, still playing with myself. By this time my little penis was quite red, and I had the fright of my life when she walked in. I begged her to tell no one, even though she was not angry. She just remarked on how red it was down there.
Neither my mom nor my dad ever talked to me about masturbation. My mom only told me a couple of times, jokingly, that "it will fall off" if I play with it a lot.
I played with myself on and off during the years, and learned about orgasm and the pleasure that it brings. As I grew up, I started sharing my masturbation experiences with my sister, and later with my elder brother. He was quite disgusted with me, as I recall. I masturbated with at least two friends before puberty, but we never touched each other. I grew into pre-puberty in what I thought was a most normal way. There was much talk about sex among ourselves, lots of groping and making fun of each other — always very good-naturedly. Masturbation was a constant topic of conversation.
One day my brother and I were in the car with my father, and my best friend and his father. We had left to go fishing. I was seated in the middle, sandwiched between my brother and my friend. All of a sudden, quite unexpectedly, an awareness of sex and sexuality hit me. It was like a tidal wave that broke over me. I must have flushed, or had a visible erection or something, because I remember my brother looking at me in a very strange way. After that experience, which I can only describe as a kind of epiphany, I viewed sex in a whole different light.
My best friend and I experimented much with sex. We masturbated in front of each other, and he once asked me to masturbate him — which I did, but not to orgasm. He never touched my penis. We rubbed our penises against each other, and talked of anal sex, without really knowing what we were talking about. His younger brother often joined us, and we would see who could ejaculate the farthest.
Once, when I was about 13, my parents took me to a doctor. I was having problems with asthma at the time. The doctor, a female, performed all the usual tests and then asked to speak to me alone. My parents left the room, and the doctor fixed me with a cold stare. "Do you play with yourself?" she asked. I was dumbstruck, shocked out of my wits, and started stuttering, eventually denying it. She would have none of that and told me flat out that I was lying. Then she said if I didn't stop, I would become feeble-minded, because each time a man ejaculates, she said, he loses fluid from his brain. The white stuff that comes out when you play with yourself, she said, was actually brain fluid. If a man continues with this, then after a while he loses his mind. And if that wasn't enough, masturbation was the real cause of my asthma, she said. So everyone around me knew of my filthy habit, because I got asthma from playing with myself. When we went out to meet my parents again, she said to me — right in front of my mom and dad: "No more monkey business!" I was mortified.
Later, I shared this with my best friend, and we decided to stop masturbating for fear of becoming morons. It was no good; neither of us could last more than a couple of days without masturbation. Besides, we soon figured out that married people must have sex on a regular basis — perhaps even daily, and that there could, therefore, be no truth to the doctor's story. I had already figured out that there could be no connection between masturbation and asthma. So we just resumed our masturbation and went at it with more gusto than ever before.
Some of my best masturbation experiences were when I masturbated in public — once in the ocean, in full view of everyone on the beach. They had no idea what I was doing, since I was in quite deep. I have also been to nude beaches — what an experience! We also used to have a pool, and skinny-dipping in the middle of the night was a special experience — with the inevitable masturbation that accompanied it. Another time I was in the bus from Heathrow to Gatwick airports, having just arrived in London and having to make a connecting flight. I was very horny, and there were few people in the bus with me. So I draped my coat over my lap, turned toward the window, unzipped my pants, and enjoyed myself. The orgasm was very intense, and I bit my lip until it bled to prevent myself from crying out. I caught my semen in a handkerchief, so there was no mess in my pants.
I have been fascinated — and still am — by the sight of nude men and their equipment, even though I consider myself straight as an arrow. I have never had a sexual encounter with anyone other than my wife, except, of course, what I consider the normal sexual exploration during my teens.
I was only ever "caught in the act" once that I know of — by my dad. I was in my room, my door closed, and I was trying to put on a condom. He opened the door without knocking. He must have seen me naked, my legs spread wide, my erection, glistening with "pre-cum," pointing straight ahead, and a condom dangling from my fingers. He must have been shocked speechless — I could see he was disgusted — but he just left the door without a word. I nearly died. Later, I went to ask him what he had wanted. We both pretended that nothing had happened.
I have now been married for almost 30 years, and I still regularly masturbate as often as I can — often 3 or 4 times a day; sometimes more. My wife masturbates me regularly as well, in addition to our lovemaking. I am not sure she knows I "do it," although I have often alluded to it. On one level she probably does know, but we have never talked about it. I have never felt guilty about masturbation — not even when I was a super-horny teenager who "did it" 7 to 10 times each day!
Do you find yourself masturbating more often during some seasons than others? Why?
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Lose fluid from the brain
Gender:
Male