religion

I was raised in a fairly conservative Christian home, and was raised to think that the act of masturbation was both disgusting and evil. It wasn't until I was 17 that I discovered the contrary, and that my masturbation life began. Like all boys I had a tendency to get random erections, and always found them annoying and sometimes even painful. Being uncircumcised, I also found what few experiments I held in touching myself to be painful as well, as my glans was too sensitive for much direct contact.

Sexually, I always remember being at least "inquisitive," even as young as 4 years. I can only remember a few specific instances during the pre-school and elementary school years where either my curiosity got the best of me or I would somehow wind up concentrating on the good feelings my genitals would give me. The natural curiosity of young boys growing up — where most would at least play the "You show me yours and I'll show you mine" game — happened as often as I could get the other neighborhood boys to play, which was not very often.

It's Thursday morning and I'm awakened by that slightly nagging feeling one gets when the call of nature beckons. Only 4 o'clock, and as late as I retired the night before, I had been hoping for a little more sleep. I try to return to this strangely comical dream I was having, but no luck. Call of nature gets more insistent, so I hop out of bed and head for the bathroom. Back in bed again I'm ready for another 40 winks. Except for whatever trigger sets off in my brain that "dicky boy" was getting ready for some action! I know from long experience this was a call I couldn't just ignore.

I am past 70 now, but I shall never forget the time of my adolescence with its confusion, frustration, and pain — all of which were related to sexuality, a total lack of understanding about the changes taking place in my body, and specifically, masturbation. I grew up in a Christian home where sex seemed to be a dirty word. Actually, I never heard it discussed at all, and I suppose the silence was what conveyed the idea that the subject was something to be avoided. There was absolutely no sex education at all.

I grew up in a Southern family that was extremely religious. We never talked about sex, alcohol, or bodily functions. Our home was almost puritanical; I never saw my dad or brothers naked. I'm sure that my mother was actually afraid of sex; my dad never spoke of it, although I think he had a very strong libido, so he was probably hugely frustrated most of the time. (In mid-life he left my mother to have a torrid affair with another woman.) I began to have sexual fantasies around age 10, although I didn't realize that's what they were.

When I was 12 years old, an orgasm happened to me inadvertently in the shower. For some strange reason, after or during this shower, as weird as it sounds, I got very tired — I don't recall any other reason — that I lay down on the shower floor. Then a little while later I started feeling this tingly sensation in my penis, because a stream from the showerhead was hitting just below my penis head. Very soon I startlingly sat up because my breathing became fast and irregular; I was a little scared!

As a young child through 8th grade (age 14), I was sent to a private Christian school. This school was very strict in the teachings they presented to us. Everything was completely religion-based. Even the science and history classes were all about "God's plan." Anyway, I think this background is what kept me from masturbating at an early age like most young boys. When I was a little kid, I didn't even think about what my penis was for. I was not even concerned with myself in that sense until the end of 6th grade when I was 12.

We would have been called innocent in 1966. Now I'd call it ignorant.

Growing up in a fairly (or depending upon how you look at it, unfairly) religious family, I was extremely naive about many things. One of those things was my penis. I don't remember taking note of my penis before age 14 — seriously, it was there so I could pee. Then one day, at the small private school I was attending, a new student that year (with whom I had recently made friends) made an interesting gesture with his hand in front of his groin after saying a joke.

From the days of early childhood, I can remember innocently humping pillows or playing with myself. I had no idea what I was doing, nor did I really care. All I knew was that it felt good. In kindergarten I can remember wrestling with the other kids and how good it felt when they would get on top of me and put pressure on my penis. At one point the neighbor kids and I would get together to show each other our penises. I am not really sure why we did it; it may have been simply because we knew we were not supposed to. I believe at age 10 I noticed my first semi-erection.