My first recollection of my own sexuality is about 5th grade or so. I remember having some sort of sore muscle in my arm or back, so I went to get the electronic back massager we had. I was sitting on my bed using this when it occurred to me for some reason I shall never know: "I wonder what this would feel like on my penis?" Not being one to wonder for long, I put it down there, and it felt good — so I decided to leave it there. After a few minutes, everything began to tense up and I didn't know if it was hurting or feeling good, but I left it there, and finally, I had my first orgasm.
I was just starting to get pubic hair and hair under my arms, and I was completely fascinated with puberty. I would get out the encyclopedia and read about sex and sexuality (as limited as the information was). One day I noticed a word I hadn't heard before: masturbation. I thought for a minute and decided that what I had been doing for the last several months was probably masturbation. I continued masturbating through my clothing with the massager for about a year. (I hadn't ejaculated yet.)
One night when I was 12 or 13, I had a major erection. My parents were asleep and their door was shut (I didn't know what they were doing at the time), so I snuck into the bathroom where the massager was kept and went back to my room, shut the door, and stripped completely naked. I turned on a dim light so I could watch myself. I plugged in the massager, lay down, and turned it on my penis. I remember it being blissful. But still, no ejaculation. I continued doing this late at night for several months, until one day, when I was reading about sex in a health book I found, I started rubbing my penis through my umbro shorts. This felt exquisite, but I remember doing it only when I was reading. All the other time, I used the massager.
At long last, I was 14 and sneaked off to the bathroom for what was to be another exciting massager session with my penis. This time, when I climaxed, semen began to come out of my penis. I wasn't scared or surprised about this as I was well read on the subject, but it was probably my most memorable orgasm to date. I remember one Saturday when I was alone, I must have had that massager on for 6 or 7 hours. I remember counting my highest number of orgasms for the day, at 9. I was very sore and uninterested in masturbation for a whole night! I also discovered that the orgasm was more powerful the more days I waited in between.
Also around this time I began to experiment with other techniques. One of my favorite (though very messy) was to take off all of my clothes and rub my penis against my bed, face-down. I would do this at night and in the morning both. When the mess started to concern me, however, I reverted to using my hand and just rubbing my penis with my right hand (but not gripping it). I don't know why it didn't occur to me to grip it yet, but I didn't. This was very intense, but the only problem was that it made my penis very sore and dry, so I couldn't do it very often. In junior high I started fantasizing about girls on a regular basis.
Sex and especially masturbation were always (and still are) taboo topics in my family, so I always had to be careful about when and where I masturbated. This has confined much of my sessions to the bathroom, except on the cherised occasions when I was home completely by myself. By age 15, we finally got satellite TV, and we had some premium channels that were blocked out. Fortunately, my parents chose "1-2-3-4" as the code for unlocking those channels. So when my parents were away, I would search through and find any movie with a mention of nudity in the description. It was through this that I first saw a naked woman. Later on, I discovered that the first 5 minutes of Pay-Per-View porn movies were shown before you actually had to pay, so I made good use of those 5 minutes quite frequently.
At age 15 I discovered "the grip." It was such a novelty to me. Why didn't I think of this before? I remember asking myself. Also around this time I discovered JackinWorld, which has been an important part of my masturbation life ever since.
At 16 I was horny all the time. I began using lube and looking at softcore porn sites. My favorite lubes were the K-Y Jelly I found in my mom's medicine cabinet and Lubriderm lotion (which is my most-used lubricant today). I tried baby oil and Vaseline, but they never had the effect that K-Y and Lubriderm had.
By 17, I was trying every new technique I could. The "Baggie & Mattress" technique became a favorite, though I was limited as to how often I could do it. Other techniques that involved condoms interested me, but I never knew where I could buy a condom without being embarrassed. One day when stopping at a convenience store, I noticed the dispensers in the restrooms. I bought several there, where I could do so anonymously, and enjoyed a week's worth of masturbation with them. I also began to visit masturbation chat rooms on the Internet and enjoyed my experiences there as well.
On one particular vacation before my junior year in high school, my family went to camp at the lake. I decided I wanted to sleep in the tent by myself while the family stayed in the RV. I took a box of Kleenex with me and enjoyed hours-long masturbation sessions, even taking lotion with me on occasion. In the mornings, I would clean up the tissue to erase the "paper trail."
My senior year was fraught with a masturbation rut, where I used the same technique with little variation for nearly a year.
Now I am in college, and I am varied in my techniques and have a very full masturbation life. I am still a virgin and will save my virginity for marriage, and I want to say to everybody out there that there is nothing wrong with this. I have come very close to having sex several times, and though at first I regretted refusing, I am glad that I did and will continue to appreciate the fact that I did. Being married to one woman and being completely devoted to her seems to be the best way to sustain a marriage and avoid divorce. Her respect is more important to me than my present gratification. I have found that my friends are open to discussing masturbation now, and I am even able to discuss it with females. I am very glad to see it becoming a more open area of discussion that it has been previously. I appreciate JackinWorld's perspective and will continue to be an avid reader for years to come.
Do you find yourself masturbating more often during some seasons than others? Why?
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Paper trail
Gender:
Male