From the days of early childhood, I can remember innocently humping pillows or playing with myself. I had no idea what I was doing, nor did I really care. All I knew was that it felt good. In kindergarten I can remember wrestling with the other kids and how good it felt when they would get on top of me and put pressure on my penis. At one point the neighbor kids and I would get together to show each other our penises. I am not really sure why we did it; it may have been simply because we knew we were not supposed to. I believe at age 10 I noticed my first semi-erection. I was getting out of the shower and noticed that my penis was longer than usual, and the foreskin seemed stretched.
In 4th grade the kids started talking about sex. At the time I had no idea what they were talking about. It was not until after 5th-grade sex education that I really understood how sex worked. Also during this time, I learned about puberty and the changes I could expect to occur in my body during the next few years. At the end of that week they sent all of us boys home with a small book outlining the ideas of the class, along with a stick of deodorant. I must have read through that book 100 times, reading the information on puberty and sex and examining the diagrams. Not until I took that class did I become aware of words like erection, semen, and orgasm. The class never mentioned masturbation. Eventually my thirst for knowledge became too great for that little book. Being unable to turn to my parents, who have been a lacking source of information when it comes to sex and other similar matters, I turned to the Internet.
Around the same time one of my good friends and I began talking openly about sex and changes that had been occurring in our bodies. We would often sit around in our underwear, achieving occasional erections, which at the time were a big deal for both of us. During these occasions I first started to notice pre-ejaculate coming from my penis. My friend made fun of me for this, and at the time I had no idea what it was. (This incident occurred prior to my sex-education class; afterwards I learned that it meant I was already well into puberty.) Several times we had wanted to compare penises, but we both always chickened out.
I learned the most about puberty from the Internet. I had just turned 12 years old, and I became an active member on several teen puberty forums, and it was here that I first learned about masturbation. There were several threads on the topic, one of which linked to JackinWorld. I can proudly state that JackinWorld has taught me basically everything I know about masturbation. After reading through the "How-To" section, I decided to give it a try. I was highly skeptical at first, but sure enough, once I got started I could not stop.
My first orgasm was undoubtedly my most intense ever and was achieved with the simple "fist" method. Afterwards I felt highly guilty and ashamed. After some reassurance from the members of that teen puberty forum, I decided that masturbation was okay, and also that my dead relatives were not looking down on me from heaven with extreme disapproval. Not very long after that, I experienced my second orgasm — this time without the guilt.
I have yet to experience anything as remotely strong as that first orgasm. Actually, after witnessing some of my friends climax — with their heavy breathing and moaning — I feel that my own orgasms must be extremely weak. This is a problem which I have tried to solve by slowing down and prolonging the experience, sometimes using the "Stop & Go" method. After such sessions my orgasms are usually stronger, but more often than not I am pressed for time and simply pop a "quickie" just to relieve myself of sexual tension.
In 7th grade I tried to completely stop masturbating altogether. I have never considered myself highly religious (in fact, today I consider myself agnostic), but at one point I almost became a Mormon convert. One of my good friends, who is Mormon, was trying to explain the basics of his religion to me, which at the time seemed a whole lot more appealing than the dark and dreary Catholic Church. So I ordered a Book of Mormon and began abstaining from masturbation, among other things. After several "wet dreams" and an extreme longing for masturbation, I gave in to my boyish desires. I can write off the week's experience as just a simple phase — one which I am glad ended quickly!
Later on that year, I developed a good friendship with a new neighbor of mine. I was a full year older than him, and one day, while we were playing basketball, he asked me what it meant to masturbate. I briefly explained it to him, to which he responded, "So, is that what you call it?" From that point forward we always felt comfortable discussing masturbation and puberty together. On several occasions we spent the night at each other's houses. On one of these nights when my dad was away on a fishing trip, we watched the Playboy Channel and other erotic stations together. We stayed up for the better part of the night watching TV. Once my mother even came down to check on us; it was a close call, but I managed to hear her coming and quickly changed the channel. I know we both privately played with ourselves, but neither of us went all the way.
In the morning we both awoke with a serious case of "blue balls." What was about to come next would set the stage for the next few weeks. We started to wrestle, and before long both of us had achieved erections. We then started rolling around on each other, just like I used to do as a child. Quickly thereafter his mother came to take him home, which we were both happy about, because we knew it meant we could finally relieve ourselves alone.
Shortly thereafter I started exploring the idea of mutual masturbation. After visiting JackinWorld's "Fun for Two" section of JackinExpert, I decided to bring up the idea the next time I saw him. One night while over at his house, we both started talking about several hot girls we knew from school. Before long we were both feeling pretty horny, so I mentioned that I wanted to masturbate. He looked at me cockeyed, and at that point I mentioned I wanted to do it together. He seemed receptive to the idea, and we made our way to his room. When we were about to begin, he noticed I was wearing briefs, which he laughed at, temporarily spoiling the mood. Fortunately this delayed us, because only moments later, his mom was knocking on the door. When she barged in, we luckily had our pants up. She told him to come downstairs and visit with his aunt and uncle, who were visiting from out of town, as he could see me anytime.
We discussed the idea of mutual masturbation further the next day at school. I quickly devised a plan that would leave us alone without any parental interference. We decided that I would come to his house the next day after school on the pretext of a collaborative school project. As we rode home on the bus that day, the mood was pretty intense. You could tell that we were both extremely horny. In a plan that was almost foiled by a pair of torn baseball socks, I eventually made my way across two farm fields to his house.
Upon reaching his house I rang the doorbell. He quickly answered the door wearing nothing but his boxers. I stood there in shock, at which point he yanked me inside and slammed the door. We quickly made our way to his room. On the way I attempted to begin undressing. Once in his room, I finished undressing, and wearing nothing but my boxers, I climbed onto his bed. I instantly achieved an erection, and soon my pre-ejaculate was obvious. We soon began rolling around on each other like before, this time using thrusting motions to simulate sex. After awhile we stopped and prepared to masturbate. I had volunteered to masturbate him first if he would show his penis first. It was the first penis of another boy I had seen who was close to my age. After comparing for a few moments and deciding that we were both normal, I poured out some lotion and was about to begin, when he suddenly stopped me. He supposedly felt uncomfortable going any further. I quickly dressed and went home, disappointed and bewildered. Fortunately the next day at school everything returned to normal, like it had never happened. Since then we have masturbated privately together while looking at pornography, but never touching or in direct sight of the other person.
To this day I'm not really sure what when wrong that day, and as a result I find myself frequently replaying the situation in my head while masturbating. I cannot seem to help having this memory come into my mind. Sometimes I have the will to shut it out of my mind, but more often then not I allow it to continue, because when I'm in a hurry this fantasy will usually bring me to climax. I consider it to be a scar on my mind, one which will not seem to go away. Also as a result of this experience I often fantasize about masturbating with other guys, an idea that isn't very appealing after I finish masturbating.
People often comment on how mature I am — "a natural born leader," they also say. Growing up with no siblings or close friends until I was school age, I often found myself around other adults during early childhood. As a result I feel more comfortable around adults and less so around my peers. This has hindered me when it comes to dating. I am rather picky and tend not to want to commit time to a flaky girl — a type that seems to be abundant at my school. It seems as though I have one serious relationship a year. These relationships never get very physical — likely because I can never bring myself to make the first move. As a result, masturbation with a girl is still only a fantasy for me.
Although fantasy plays a role sometimes, pornography is the biggest staple of my masturbation sessions. I enjoy all types of pornography; although it's generally videos or photos, I have lately come to enjoy erotic stories, which I feel leave a little more room for imaginative interpretation. I have never been a big fan magazines or videocassettes, simply because of the risk of someone else finding them. My friend learned this the hard way after his parents discovering his stash of magazines under his dresser. Most of my pornography comes from the Internet, simply because I can easily hide it from my computer-illiterate parents.
Once while listening to the radio show Loveline, I heard an advertisement for Astroglide, a popular personal lubricant. I visited the Web site and ordered a trial-size vial of the stuff. I had it sent to my neighbor's house, and every day for a month I checked their mailbox for it. It never came — either that or someone else (i.e. the postman) got to it first.
Typically I use a lube during my masturbation sessions. I am always able to produce my own natural lubrication (pre-ejaculate) in varying amounts depending on my mood I'm in when I masturbate. In the beginning I used hand lotion, hand soap, or a mixture of the two. Vaseline was also a favorite, but it quickly ran out, and I surely was not going to ask mother to buy some. One day while snooping around in my friend's bathroom, I noticed about a dozen little bottles of hotel lotion in his bottom drawer. When I asked him about it, he told me that he used them as lube. He offered a few to me, which I graciously accepted. These bottles contained my now-favorite type of lotion to use during masturbation: Vaseline Intensive Care.
That summer my family went on vacation to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. While on the trip, I began hoarding the lotion bottles that were provided at the place where we were staying, which to my great pleasure contained the same lotion that was in the bottles my friend gave me. Several times I even stole bottles off the maid's cart. One thing I discovered about lotion was that it can be easily warmed to provide intense pleasure. These bottles were the perfect size to slip into the microwave for a few seconds. (I want to warn anyone who may want to try this — be sure to check the temperature of the lotion on your hand first! I have burned my hands several times, so you know what would have happened if I had squeezed the lotion directly onto my penis!)
Spit has evolved over the years to become my all-time favorite lube. It is always convenient and in high supply. I especially like it when it gets thick with mucus; this makes for a very slippery lube that doesn't quickly dry out. I have had one bad experience as a result of masturbating with spit, though. I believe a warning should be tattooed to the inside of everyone's mouth reading, "Do Not Eat Mushrooms and Masturbate!" Believe it or not, I actually suffered from a serious fungal infection in my groin area simply because I masturbated with spit after eating a pepperoni and mushroom pizza. [Ed. Note: It's hard to believe that edible mushroom fungus would infect human skin, particularly after being baked on a pizza, but hey — what do we know?] I had to visit the doctor and was given an anti-fungal cream. It took nearly two weeks for it to clear up — during which time I could not achieve an erection because of extreme swelling. Those were a rough two weeks.
During another family vacation, my obsession became masturbating with condoms. I bought my first condom from a Texaco gas station on Interstate 65 in Alabama. That night I spent a little more time than usual in the bathroom. Being paranoid that my parents would find the evidence, I tore up everything, including the condom, into small pieces and then flushed it all down the toilet. (Once when we stayed at a hotel with bad plumbing I hid my evidence in the overhead light fixture — I still feel bad for the handyman who found it.) For the rest of the trip I always carried 75 cents in my pocket and requested frequent bathroom breaks. By the end of the trip I knew exactly which gas-station chains had condom vending machines and which did not. Unfortunately I forgot this information for the next year's trip.
Over the years I have developed my own masturbation technique that is surprisingly simple, yet it isn't mentioned on JackinWorld. The stroke simply moves up and down, and while coming up, the palm circles over the penis head. This technique works best with lube (it's more or less required). This has to be my favorite technique, although the classic dry "fist" method is always good as well. With either of these techniques I like to incorporate pelvic thrusting, which heightens the pleasure for me. I have likely tried every method listed on JackinWorld at least once — those I can figure out, anyway. I even once tried using nothing but my legs, as one of my friends tried to teach me. The only JackinWorld technique I have never been able to successfully master is the "Vagina." I can never seem to get enough stimulation when using this technique, and thus I eventually tire out before I reach climax. I have also experimented with anal stimulation, but I did not find it very pleasing or enjoyable.
My masturbation sessions usually occur in one of three places, but I am pretty sure I have masturbated on every surface in the house at one point or another. Typically I masturbate on my bed, in the bathroom, or in front of the computer. I usually masturbate at night after my parents are asleep, or at some other time when I know they will not disturb me. Fortunately I have never been "caught," but I have had several close calls. I try to masturbate at least once a day, which lately has become part of my daily routine. When I was younger I masturbated more frequently — sometimes twice or even three times a day. During the school year I sometimes come straight home and masturbate simply because it was a stressful day. Several times I even masturbated at school because I was feeling so stressed. I once masturbated in science class, although not to orgasm, and I've also done it in the bathroom stall during class.
Since I first discovered JackinWorld I have been a frequent visitor. I usually check in about once a week to read the latest Question of the Week and Biography. I also like to check up on the latest reader comments in the JackinExpert section. I admit that I sometimes masturbate to what I've read about.