My life as a masturbator began long before I had heard the term or even knew what it was. I have no recollection of when it started, but I remember I used to tickle my private parts in bed at night, and that it felt very good. There was no ejaculation or orgasm associated with this activity -- just a nice, intense feeling I enjoyed. I'm sure that at age 10 I was doing this regularly.
My parents never, ever discussed sex with me, and certainly not masturbation. In the schoolyard, however, this subject was -- although not discussed openly -- not exactly a taboo, and I picked up all the pieces of information I could get, mainly from older boys. At age 12 I knew how babies were made, and that the male ejaculates semen during intercourse. I was also aware that it was possible to make the semen come out by yourself, but I just didn't know how. I thought the tickling sensation and very excited feelings I could obtain when playing with myself was the top; I had no idea there was anything higher, and I figured ejaculation was an intentional act -- something one could do using a special technique. I sometimes tried to tighten the muscles in the lower part of my body in various ways and even to gently squeeze my testicles during my tickling sessions to try to make the semen come out, but of course nothing happened.
Not until the last part of the 6th grade did I learn the big secret. At a classmate's birthday party one of the games we played was hide-out, and I ended up with a boy from the 7th grade in the hayloft. It took a while before we were found, and for some reason one of our activities was to compare penis size. His was larger than mine, and he sounded very mature when he asked if I had tried to ejaculate. I said no, and he said: "You should try it, it feels soooo good." I asked him how, and he made a couple of strokes to indicate what he meant. By this time we could hear that we would be found soon, and there was no further opportunity to touch the subject that day.
The short explanation I had gotten confused me. The stroking he had indicated was a regular part of the "game" I played with myself, and that had not yet led to any ejaculation. Thinking the main purpose of this was to get an erection, I continued with the muscle exercises and squeezing while playing, but still nothing happened. I could get the excitement up to a certain point (which I still considered being "the top"), but I also felt a very strong urge for something more. I began to experiment a little, and among other things, I used two pillows to simulate intercourse. The feelings were strong and nice, but the "urge" was stronger than ever.
I badly wanted to talk to the older boy about this subject again, but he was not a regular friend and I was afraid to be laughed at. On one of the last days in school before summer I was hanging around in his vicinity at recess, and suddenly the opportunity to talk to him in privacy was there. I took the chance and asked him openly how to do it. Much to my luck, he did not laugh me out but was very serious, and he repeated the thing about the stroking. What was different this time was he said it was just a matter of keeping going with the stroking, and that the ejaculation would happen eventually.
Encouraged by this I went straight to my room after coming home from school, locked the door, pulled down my trousers, and sat on my bed. The erection was there in no time, and I started doing it how I had been told. As I recall, it took quite a while to get past the point I had previously considered as being "the top," but from there things started to move fast. Deep down in my abdomen a feeling which I had never experienced before started to develop. I instinctually knew this was "it," and I kept stroking, concentrated and determined. In a short time the feeling grew to something which was indescribably big and overwhelming -- so overwhelming that I stopped stroking just as the first of many squirts of thin, white fluid came out onto the carpet. Although I had unintentionally cut the orgasm in half, this was the most tremendous and powerful feeling I had ever experienced, and I felt a strange mix of surprise and satisfaction. I was also a little nervous over the wet spots on the carpet, and after cleaning up most of it I hurried downstairs to prevent my mom from coming up. For the rest of that day I couldn't think of anything else but my newly discovered secret, and I felt very proud and very mature. I still consider that day one of the major milestones in my life. I was fully aware what the word "masturbation" meant, and I knew it was going to be an important part of my life.
As I remember it, I didn't masturbate every day in the beginning, but I got well acquainted with masturbation during the summer vacation. I quickly learned to keep stroking until the orgasm faded out, and I also learned to have a small stock of paper towel or toilet paper readily available at a secret place in my room.
When school started again after the summer vacation, I was invited to spend the night with a classmate. We had done this earlier, and apart from doing homework and playing cowboys and Indians we had also played sexual games now and then. This had mostly been comparison of penises, touching each other, etc., so we were familiar with each other's private parts. On this occasion I very much looked forward to sharing my newly discovered secret with him, although I was too shy to just blurt it out. It was not until we were in bed at night and the light was out that we started talking about sex. We both admitted to having an erection, and I asked him if he had tried to ejaculate. It turned out that he too had learned it just before the summer vacation and that he had been masturbating regularly ever since. We talked about masturbation for a while, how it felt, etc., and while we were talking I stroked quietly under the quilt. I badly wanted to ejaculate, but I was still too shy to just do it. Finally I asked him if we should do it together. I clearly remember him saying in an intense voice, "It's too late..." Seconds later I turned onto my side and ejaculated onto the wall.
This was the beginning of a new friendship in which masturbation played an important part. After that night we had no reservations with each other -- we were completely open and frank about it. Most of the times we did it together, but if one of us felt the urge and the other didn't, it was completely natural for us to do it while the other was watching. We both saw masturbation as a joy and a fine lonesome activity, but also one that could be shared. We were fully aware that this was a big secret, but apart from that we felt no guilt whatsoever, and the fact that we were somewhat intimate did not make us feel gay. In fact I don't think either of us even knew the word. We were together at least one afternoon a week, and we would spend the night at each other's about once every 2 weeks. In the afternoons after school we would go to the room, pretending to do homework, but the first thing we would do was masturbate together. This was often repeated -- often more than once. The best, however, was when we could spend the night together. On these occasions we saved our energy until nighttime (it was sometimes hard to wait that long), where we would say good night to the folks, go to the room, and lock the door. Then we would strip completely naked and go to the same bed, where we would do petting and mutual masturbation. This period lasted throughout the 7th grade, after which we went to separate schools, and the friendship faded out.
Although I am completely straight and have no desire to repeat this experience, I think back on this period as one of my best, sexually speaking. It was one of the most uncomplicated relationships I've ever had, and I learned a lot from this. The sexual differencesbetween us, for example, were interesting: My favorite way of doing it was (and still is) to lie down with as many pillows behind my back as I could find, legs wide spread and using fast strokes. My friend's favorite position was lying flat on his back, legs tight together, using slow strokes. He got to orgasm quickly and could do it much faster and twice as often as I could -- an ability I envied. I on the other hand could shoot my semen several feet -- an ability he envied. When we were in bed together I often masturbated him to ejaculation, but I -- although I liked him touching me -- had to finish off myself.
In high school all my classmates were new to me, and the whole atmosphere amongst the students was completely different from before. Sex was discussed more openly and joked about more, and it was more or less a public secret that boys masturbated. I probably knew in theory that girls could do it as well, but I had never heard or known about any who did. However, one of the girls had earned a very embarrassing nickname ("Candle") -- she had masturbated with a candle while her girlfriend was watching, and once the two came on bad terms, the girlfriend told the story to anybody who cared to listen. It was a tremendous turn-on imagining this girl masturbating with a candle, and that added a lot of inspiration to my own masturbation sessions.
My masturbation habits as a schoolboy were fairly regular. It was the first thing I would do after coming home from school, and I would often repeat it later at bedtime. In the weekend I would sometimes do it in the morning when I woke up. My favorite and most private place was my room, although there was always a risk my mom might come and knock on the door. For that reason I seldom stripped completely naked unless I was absolutely sure I would not be disturbed. In the summertime I often did it in some of my secret places, of which I had many. The hay-loft was my favorite, but there was also a cave in a gravel pit and a corn field where I would go for total privacy. I did not experiment much with masturbation techniques, as I was fairly happy with the hand method, but on one occasion I tried to do it in the shower holding my penis head in the water flow. This caused an almost unbearable tickling sensation, and it took an enormous amount of concentration and time to reach orgasm. Afterwards I experienced pain in the urethra for a while, so I did not repeat that method. On one occasion I tried to see how many times I could masturbate in one day (I reached 6), but my average frequency was about 2, mostly varying from 1 to 3.
I left home when I was 18 and got my own place. Since I had more privacy I could practice masturbation just the way I wanted, and that included stripping off all my clothes almost every time. As I did my own laundry I began using socks as a means to collect semen. One advantage is you don't need extra effort to hit the paper towel in the most critical moment -- you can concentrate 100% on the orgasm. I had not earlier had access to condoms and erotic magazines, but in the town I had moved to these things were available in a vending machine, and for a while I was a regular customer (mostly in the middle of the night!). I sometimes used condoms while masturbating, not so much for the sperm collection but more for the feeling -- and besides, a condom enhanced my fantasies about intercourse, which I had not had yet. I also experimented with anal stimulation (a candle inside a condom), but I guess it was the feeling of something new and very very secret rather than the stimulation itself, and I quit it after a while.
I had a few relationships with girls during that period, but not until I was 20 did I get laid for the first time. This was a new and wonderful way of having sex, but it did not reduce my urge for masturbation -- on the contrary. I could be with the girl I was dating only on the weekend, and I would of course save some sexual energy up to the weekend, but then I would go berserk the days afterward and masturbate several times. After we had gotten to know each other after the first couple of times it turned out she liked to masturbate as well, and I had my great desire of seeing female masturbation fulfilled. I dated this girl for about 6 months before it faded out.
At age 22 I met the woman I am still married to. She was the first I lived with and could have sex with every day, and indeed my masturbation frequency dropped. I never did give it up completely, though, and I often felt a strong urge to masturbate -- especially the day after we'd had sex. Besides, I find masturbation and sex with another person two good sides of the same coin -- one not necessarily excludes the other. The last thing in the world my wife would do, however, is to touch herself. She considers masturbation a sort of adultery, so naturally my masturbation sessions have been taking place in the deepest privacy and secrecy.
My wife brought a vibrator into our marriage. Not a woman's toy but the flat type used for sore muscles. One day when I was alone and had been using it for muscle tensions in my neck, I tried to hold my penis against it. The tickling sensation was very strong, and I could immediately feel that this was going to work. Within a few minutes, and without doing anything else but just holding my penis firmly onto the vibrating surface, I experienced the most powerful and tickling orgasm ever. Naturally the vibrator became my favorite toy, but I could use it only when I had complete privacy, as it was kind of noisy. The orgasms were always very strong and exhaustive -- actually so exhaustive that after a session with the vibrator it could take a couple of days before the need was there again. Suddenly one day the vibrator was not in its usual place anymore. It turned out my wife had given it away to a family member who had complained about muscle tensions. I can hardly describe the frustration I felt.
For various reasons we have not had sex for several years, and masturbation is once again my primary method of reaching satisfaction. I am 47 now, and although not as active sexually as when I was a teenager, I still masturbate often. The frequency is more irregular now, though. There are periods when I do it every day -- sometimes more than once -- but there are also periods when several days may pass between sessions. My habits have also changed slightly: As a teenager and a young man I would normally go straight for the orgasm, and the length of a session would be somewhere between 1 and 5 minutes. I could do it almost anywhere, and many times I've done it in the toilet at school or work. If I'm not alone in the house and have to do it in the bathroom I can still do it in a couple of minutes -- but if I have the time and privacy I enjoy a long foreplay. This can take up to 25 minutes, and when I'm well warmed up and my imagination is in top gear, the final run for orgasm rarely takes more than a minute. I still do it at work from time to time, but if I know I'm going to be alone when I come home I can go for many hours, just looking forward to the experience that's awaiting me as soon as the door is locked behind me.
I have never ever felt the slightest touch of guilt from masturbation, and I have never tried to quit. The longest period I have tried to be without masturbation is 3 weeks -- 2 weeks in the hospital and another week to recover before I felt fit enough to do it again. I have always felt I was very good at masturbating, and on a scale from 0 to 10 my orgasms almost always reach 8 or 9. When I came on the Internet a couple of years ago, one of the first words I typed into a search engine was "masturbation." I have enjoyed reading JackinWorld for a long time. I especially enjoy reading female responses to the Question of the Week, and my favorite pictures on the Net are girls masturbating.