I don't really remember discovering masturbation on a specific occasion, but I do remember that when I was about 10 or 11 I used to find it fun to lie on my stomach in bed with my penis between the fingers of my hand and move my hips up and down. I did this because it felt good and didn't associate it with sex, and so I wasn't at all embarrassed about it -- though my dad did try to stop me from doing it on more than one occasion. It felt too good to stop, though, so I would carry on again as soon as he left.
During this time I also remember finding that after humping the bed in this way for a while I would get the feeling like I needed to pee. On several occasions I would get out of bed and go to the toilet, but by the time I got there the need would be gone again. After a while I found that if kept doing it in bed, eventually I would feel a small squirt of liquid leave my penis. After that the feeling of needing to pee would go away, so I assumed this liquid must be pee. I could feel that the quantity was very small, so I didn't worry about it -- but when it started to get bigger I checked my sheets. Imagine my surprise when I found that the liquid was white and thicker than pee. I worked out that this liquid must be semen, as I had read about this in a book about the body I had -- but the book said boys started to produce this fluid when they were about 14.
I carried on masturbating by humping the bed like this for some time, still without any embarrassment, including doing it in my sleeping bag one night at scout camp. The following morning my patrol leader told some visiting friends from the Venture Scouts (16 to 20 years old) that I had started "wanking" already. I didn't know this term and asked what he meant, and he then explained that what I had been doing the previous night was called "wanking." The Ventures talked about this, which shocked me, because they looked like adults to me and adults didn't discuss that kind of thing.
The first time I saw another guy's semen happened at a scout camp a year or so later. By then I would have been 12 or 13. The patrol leader persuaded the 11-year-old scouts in our patrol (2 of them) that it would be cool to sleep in a small hiking tent, leaving just the older lads in the main tent. Come bedtime it became obvious why he had done that: so we older lads could masturbate in our sleeping bags without being asked any awkward questions. After everyone had ejaculated one lad opened up his sleeping bag so he could wipe up his semen with the tent curtain. I was interested to see that it looked just like mine but that he had ejaculated less of it than I normally did. This surprised me slightly because he was older than me, about 14.
Perhaps around this time I became interested in watching my semen being ejaculated, but because of the way I masturbated at the time, this wasn't easy. By then I was masturbating 3 times a day: un the morning, after school when my mum wasn't home, and evening -- so after school one day I set out some furniture to allow myself to watch. I arranged a small table and a laundry stool so I could lie with my chest on the table with my head hanging down over the edge and my feet on the stool. That way I could look between the table's legs and see my penis whilst I masturbated. I put newspaper on the floor to catch the semen and then masturbated and watched myself ejaculate. I repeated this a few times but soon lost interest and found that it was tedious to have to get everything out and put it away again.
My after-school sessions were great, but I always had to have an ear open for my younger brother coming up the stairs. Usually he would stay downstairs in the front room and watch TV, but sometimes he would come upstairs to ask me something or to talk, and I didn't want him to walk in on me and get a shock. Eventually this got to be such a nuisance that I decided to show him how I masturbated and explain about it, and then it wouldn't matter if he walked in. It worked, because after that I didn't worry, and we sometimes talked about something completely different whilst I carried on masturbating. Sometime I would ask him to stop talking until I had finished, and then he would either stay and watch or come back later.
When I was about 14 I was walked in on by a friend from our school. I had gone home at lunchtime specifically to masturbate and had left the back door unlocked. For some reason this lad followed me, and after getting no response from knocking at the door, let himself in and came up to my bedroom where I was busy masturbating. I didn't hear him until he was there in the room. I was way too embarrassed to finish, despite his suggesting I should -- but it opened up masturbation as a conversation topic between us, and once we both knew we enjoyed doing it, we agreed to do it together one afternoon at my house. We each did ourselves but in view of the other. This was the first time I saw another guy ejaculate. This friend was obviously comfortable with masturbation at the time, but he later tried to quit because he was a Christian and thought doing it was "unchristian." Some other guys were cool about it, too, while still others would hit you if you suggested they did it.
Around about this time my father came into my bedroom one morning when I was getting dressed, and at the time I had a partial erection. He told me that "if I kept playing with it, it would be a continual embarrassment to me." I guessed that my father didn't approve of masturbation, and I also felt annoyed because on that occasion the erection didn't actually have anything to do with masturbating, so I felt falsely accused.
I was half caught by my mother on one occasion -- I had just finished zipping up as she walked into the room. She guessed what I had been doing prior to this, making me rather embarrassed, but she didn't seem too fussed about it.
The next real milestone was when I changed from the bed-humping method to holding my penis in my fist and stroking. I had been aware that other guys used their fists since the second of the two scout camps I mentioned above, but I had never succeeding in doing it that way. I could get nearly there but not quite, and then my arm would get tried, or I would drift off to sleep before I finished. I was about 17 and was staying overnight in London with the Venture Scouts. That evening I was reminded that my technique wasn't the normal one and determined to do it the normal way, so I just kept going and eventually succeeded. After that I still tried the old method occasionally, but the new one took over, and that's the technique I normally use today.
Some time after this, my brother came bursting into the house one afternoon with a couple of friends (they were brothers) just after I had arrived from school and asked if I had "done it yet?" I didn't know what they were on about at first, and I had to get them to explain. It turned out they wanted to watch me masturbate, so I agreed.
One evening one of my friends from the Venture Scouts suggested that we masturbate each other. I didn't see any harm in this, so I agreed. We stood facing each other, grabbed each other's penises, and started stroking. By then I had learned to control my speed to orgasm to get a better climax, and I was rather shocked when he quickly and forcefully ejaculated onto my stomach when I wasn't even close. I got over this and we masturbated each other several more times after that -- but then he wanted to progress to oral or anal sex, and I wasn't happy with this, so our sessions petered out.
During my early teenage years I became embarrassed about masturbation primarily, I think, because of the attitude of adults. Even so, I never tried to quit, nor did I ever stop masturbating long enough to experience a "wet-dream." There are two final events in my masturbation history, though, that tended to correct the embarrassment. The first was moving out of my parents' house into my own place. Suddenly I didn't have to be secretive or worry that I might leave tell-tale signs anywhere. I could masturbate whenever I wanted and really take my time. The second was finding that masturbation was openly discussed here on the Internet -- first of all in the newsfroup alt.sex.masturbation (which sadly I no longer have access to), and more recently, here on JackinWorld. Through chatting with other people on the Internet and through reading articles that have been posted I have come to celebrate the pleasure my body can give rather than experience the mixed feeling of enjoyment tinged with guilt. Even so, I would have to know someone really well and know they were cool about it before I would masturbate in the same room.
My current frequency averages somewhere between once and twice a day. I normally masturbate when I go to bed and, time permitting, I often do it in the morning, too. Some days I do it in between, but that's less common. My favorite technique is to lie on my back or side and stroke my penis with the standard "Fist" grip. I am uncircumcised, so I don't need lube for this. I always make sure I am on my back before I ejaculate, because I like feeling my semen land on my chest and/or stomach and to see how far I have shot it. Sometime I watch it spurt out, other times I just close my eyes and enjoy the feelings.
Do you find yourself masturbating more often during some seasons than others? Why?
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Venture forth
Gender:
Male