First, place a condom on your penis. Next, cut the top off a banana and scoop out the fruit, leaving a hollow peel. Get a plastic sandwich baggie and place the banana peel inside. Then put the baggie containing the peel in between the mattresses of your bed. If the mattresses are too firm, put a crumpled-up T-shirt on top and bottom of the baggie when it is between the mattresses. Finally, place your penis (with condom on) into the banana peel and start going. The condom reduces chaffing and also helps with the cleanup process.