For this simulator, you need the following ingredients:
- 1 decent-size steak
- olive oil
- microwave oven
- needle and thread
- Wrap the steak around your penis. Mould it to the correct tube shape and remove it.
- Take the needle and thread and stitch it up so it retains its tube-like shape. This isn't necessary, but it helps to maintain the tube-like shape during masturbation. You can also wrap string around the steak instead of sewing it. The tighter you wrap it, the tighter the "vagina".
- Smear the inside of the steak-tube with olive oil. Place the steak-tube in the microwave for 20 seconds (for an 800-watt oven; for others, warming times may vary). Test the wamth of the oil and steak by placing your finger inside. Make sure it isn't too hot. Now place you penis inside, and go for it. Ignore all other claims....this is the closest thing to a REAL vagina, bar none.
Note: Different sensations can be obtained by using different cuts of beef. Veal is good but some people may have moral objections to using veal. I prefer rib-eye as it feels a little grittier.