Now, when I masturbate with my hand I can fairly easily achieve orgasm, because I can keep rhythm to exactly what feels good for me. However when I engage in sexual activity or even just mutual masturbation, no matter what the other person tries it just doesn't feel good enough to build up to a climax – it can take me forever to have an orgasm, and in some cases I have to give up. The anxiety makes things even more difficult. I read on JackinWorld that you shouldn't use artificial stimulation (such as a vibrator) too often, as it can decrease sensitivity, so I'm assuming this must be my problem. How do I cure it?
Since you don't have a problem masturbating to orgasm when you're by yourself, I don't think it's a sensitivity problem. It's probably more of a trust issue, or an inability to let go completely with another person. I would suggest working carefully with a sympathetic partner who understands your concerns and will help you solve your problem. If you make a serious effort and are still unsuccessful, some kind of counseling or therapy might be helpful. It could take quite a while, and you might have to work on it, but it's important if you want to enjoy sex to its fullest. In the mean time, you can always let your partner masturbate you (I assume that's still at least somewhat pleasurable) and then finish yourself off before it gets so far along that anxiety begins to set in.
Do you find yourself masturbating more often during some seasons than others? Why?
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