[Many JackinWorld visitors ask if doing one thing or another with their penis will hurt it. The November '98 issue of Men's Health magazine carries a short article listing some things not to do to your penis – including some things that could "break" it. Here's a summary of the article. If you want to read the original for yourself, it is titled "The Eight Worst Things You Can Do To Your Privates" by Zachary Veilleux.]
1. Don't push it down.
Okay, probably all of us have done this, right? You wake up in the morning and gotta pee somethin' fierce, so you shuffle/trot/run to the bathroom, but Pierre is standing straight up with his usual morning erection. So you push him down, pray you can hit the bowl, and force out the pee. Putting too much downward pressure on your erect penis can strain the suspensory ligaments that connect it to the pubic bone. This connection provides the leverage needed for it to become erect. Stretch these tendons too much and who knows which way your penis will point? You're better off to wait until the erection subsides before you urinate.
2. Don't force it into sex before it's ready.
If you have intercourse with a partner regularly, you may encounter a time that you want to have a "quickie." So you try to force it in before it's completely erect. Doing so can cause damage to the structures inside your penis that fill with blood to cause an erection. The result – a permanent (and sometimes painful) bend in your penis. You'll do better to extend foreplay for a while and then insert when both of you are ready. Or, wait until you have enough time for both of you to become fully aroused.
3. Zip and unzip with great care.
Most of us are pretty good about making sure things are neatly packed away before raising our zippers. Perhaps that's why most zipper injuries to penises happen when people are zipping down to open their pants. That's probably when they are most in a hurry, too. If you should ever catch some of your penile skin in your pants zipper, the best recovery is to try to zip the other way forcefully and all in one motion. Otherwise, it's a trip to the emergency room, where they will give you an anesthetic and then dismantle the zipper. Ouch! The good news is that most zipper injuries, although quite painful, seldom cause lasting harm. ("There's Something About Mary" notwithstanding.)
4. Don't experiment with unusual substances for lubricants.
If you run out of your favorite motion lotion and look for a substitute, carefully avoid any substance that isn't designed for sensitive skin. Otherwise, you could be in for a painful chemical burn. Lubricants that are okay include K-Y Jelly (and any of the specialty "personal lubricants" such as Persona), baby oil, vegetable oil, any skin lotion made for sensitive skin.
5. Be VERY careful with "rodeo sex."
You're happily banging away in a new position with your favorite penile stimulation device (hand or partner) when suddenly there's a slip, a cracking noise, and severe penile pain. You know you've done something serious because your penis turns purple and begins to swell up like an eggplant. If this should happen to you, you've just experienced penile fracture, and you must get to an emergency room fast. Stuff your embarrassment, because you're now dealing with a severe injury to your penis. It happens most often during "rodeo sex," where your partner is astride you and bouncing around. The fracture is caused by your rigid penis suddenly encountering something hard, like your partner's pubic bone. Safety guidelines: If you are going to let your partner ride you, make sure to limit motion to an inch or two. Neither of you should move so that your penis is strained against the direction of your erection.
6. Watch out, nature boy!
If you decide to go au naturel in the great outdoors, be careful of three types of hazards:
(a) Too much sun – Because that area is exposed outdoors so rarely, you can easily overdo it.
(b) Poison ivy, oak, or sumac – Carefully avoid any vegetation with leaves in clumps of three.
(c) Critters – Mosquitoes, ticks, spiders, ants, bees, hornets, and wasps all represent hazards.
So how do the nudists handle it? I honestly don't know. I guess you'll have to ask them.
7. Never have your penis surgically enlarged.
First, most of us couldn't afford the $6,000 price tag, so no sweat. But understand that all you get for the 6 big ones is about an extra inch in length. To achieve this boost, the doc snips the suspensory ligaments we mentioned in #1 that provide leverage for your erection. So you're left with a wobbly, inch-longer woody that points any which way and increases your risk of the buckling and fracture injuries mentioned earlier.
8. Don't stick it where it doesn't belong.
Oral sex – Don't put your penis in the mouth of anybody you don't know really, really well. Two outlandish possibilities – this person is subject to seizures (where they can't control their biting movements among other things), or this person is subject to vengeful outbursts and has a really big grudge against you. Nor should you ever have oral sex in a moving vehicle where a bump in the road could result in your losing your most prized possession and your surprised partner gulping an unwanted weenie.
Any nonhuman orifice – This means animals and tubular appliances are out. First, with animals, you just never know what they will do. Dogs, cats, and other pets make their livings with their jaws and teeth. Never let your penis become a tempting tidbit. Second, tubular appliances such as vacuum cleaners and swimming pool intakes can expose you to several different hazards. Suction and vibration can expose your penile tissue to enough internal pressure to tear arteries, veins, and spongy tissue that are already engorged with blood because you are erect. And moving parts can chew up your meat. Some vacuum cleaner hoses have booster fans in the end of the hose to improve performance, but they will definitely ruin your performance!