How I learned to have virtually endless, hands-free orgasms of incredible intensity.
[Steve is a software developer and JackinWorld reader. He has a wonderful and understanding wife and a teenage daughter.]
Most of us know that women can have "multiple orgasms." Sustained stimulation of the vagina or clitoris, either manual, oral, or through intercourse, can sometimes bring on successive orgasms, often of growing intensity. We also know that men can't really do this, because after ejaculation there is a "refractory" period when our erection subsides. Some guys can have a couple in a row, if they keep it up right through the refractory period. But, for the most part, we have to wait a while and start over. We'd be psyched if we had a handful of orgasms over a few hours.
In fact, it turns out that men, too, can have multiple successive orgasms. The key is to have an orgasm without ejaculation. This seems like a completely foreign idea: orgasm and ejaculation are the same thing! But actually, they are not. Men can have orgasms without ejaculating. These are called "dry" or "non-ejaculatory" orgasms. I am not referring to having an ejaculatory orgasm where in the last second you stop the semen from coming out. I mean orgasms in which there is no ejaculatory reflex at all.
Not only can men have successive non-ejaculatory orgasms, but those orgasms can be extremely intense – more intense than your good old ejaculatory orgasm. Some men may remember (or look forward to) a certain time when they had "the most intense orgasm of my life." These strong ejaculatory orgasms may involve loud involuntary vocalizations and an overwhelming feeling of pleasure. (I remember mine: I literally screamed from pleasure.) Non-ejaculatory orgasms commonly have an intensity in that range. What's more, by using techniques I'll describe below, you can have a massive chain reaction of dry orgasms, one after another after another for a half-hour, hour, or more. I know this for sure because I do it regularly. In my case, these multiple orgasms are normally solo, although my wife and I also sometimes incorporate them into our love-making. But perhaps the most amazing thing is that I stimulate myself to have these orgasms without even touching myself. I have learned a technique where, through a certain kind of breathing and vocalization (called the Key Sound), I can bring myself into a multi-orgasmic state.
What It's Like
Before I describe how I learned to do this, I'll describe a recent typical experience. I am at my desk typing on my computer. I'm alone, so, not surprisingly I start thinking horny thoughts. This particular horniness arises as a warm erotic sensation, starting in the feeling of my butt against my chair and rising up into my chest. That warm feeling is called a "pleasure wave." When I feel it, I know that my body is "multi-orgasm horny." I allow that feeling to grow, and I grow it by taking deep, relaxed breaths, each one making the waves a little stronger. By now, I am definitely horny and am thinking how I'd like to have an orgasm. This is kind of like, when you're about to masturbate, the transition from thinking about it to the inevitable unzipping. I start to get more excited and move to a recliner. The feeling becomes more and more intense, with pleasure waves rolling over my body. Then, wham, I have my first orgasm. Some part of my body contracts in pleasure, I let out an involuntary moan, and I feel the unmistakable sense of climax. I do some more breathing, and wham – another orgasm. I start continually moaning and kind of squirming in the recliner and stiffening and grasping as I have orgasm after orgasm. They range over and involve my whole body. I can somewhat control where they are focused. They usually involve contractions in my pelvic-floor muscles (the ones that support your genitals, prostate, bladder, and rectum). Particularly strong are anal orgasms, where my whole rectum clenches down in intense pleasure, and even stronger are prostate orgasms, where the muscles surrounding my prostate contract (but with no ejaculation). The prostate orgasms feel like an overwhelming pleasure at the bottom of my body. My penis cycles in and out of erection, from straining full and leaking to soft, with orgasms happening regardless. My legs flail out as I stiffen with orgasm, or they hook under the footrest for something to push against. Sometimes my buttocks tense with orgasm; sometimes it's my hamstrings, or, in my upper body, my chest, abs, arms, etc. I moan, get flushed, salivate, and have all the usual secondary sexual effects. This goes on for a half-hour, with the orgasms varying in intensity, some getting into the "screaming" range. I stop, thinking I'm done, but am overcome again by rising pleasure waves drawing me in. Finally, I know it's time to stop...enough is enough. Afterward, I feel a lasting glow, for 24 hours or more.
You'll notice that there are two breakthroughs in what I have described. One is that we can have orgasms without ejaculating. The other is that, additionally, we can bring ourselves to orgasms "hands free," without any physical stimulation. In my case, I learned them together, but I am not sure that is necessary.
Let me take a quick detour to mention a possible path to non-ejaculatory orgasms using physical stimulation (the first of the breakthroughs without the second). The key to "dry" orgasms is sexual stimulation that does not involve the penis. There is a well-known book (I haven't read it) called Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin. I have read a different book of his called The Erotic Mind, which was an excellent, very intelligent explication of the mental process of sexuality, so I know he's a smart guy. Anal Pleasure describes ways to have anal orgasms, both with and without a partner. Note, this is not gay! Pleasure is pleasure, and we all deserve it, wherever in our body we find it and whatever our sexuality. It turns out that our anal canal, with its access to our prostate and rectum, is overloaded with erogenous nerves, and orgasms there are very intense.
From JackinForum: Start after you are aroused enough to produce some pre-ejaculate. [Note: Not every male is able to produce pre-ejaculate fluid.] The aim is to deliberately elicit pre-ejaculate without having an orgasm, thereby cultivating and controlling near-orgasmic sensations. When you first emit a small droplet of pre-ejaculate, do not wipe or smear it around. Instead, keep it balanced on the head of your penis and concentrate on growing it into a big pearly bead. Stare at it and use gentle motions to avoid disturbing it, rather than heavy stroking. Learn to recognize the sensation of pre-ejaculate welling up from deep inside. As you become successful, pre-ejaculate will dribble down the side of your penis. Again, do not disturb it; rather, continue and concentrate on producing more pre-ejaculate. If you are especially aroused, you may even get an actual spurt. The sensation of emitting each droplet is like a mini-orgasm. If you feel an impending orgasm, back off for a few moments. When you finally climax, the pleasure will be indescribable. This technique is especially good when you give yourself the "green light" to climax after a few very close near-orgasm experiences, or after hovering continuously on the brink for as many seconds as you can stand. It's very liberating to explore the delicious near-orgasm sensations and then letting go.
My first step toward multiple orgasms was through a book from the 1980s called ESO: Extended Sexual Orgasm by Gary Bauer. This excellent book is founded on physiological and psychological studies of human sexual response. It was the first place I learned the idea of doing Kegel exercises (pelvic-floor exercises) to augment my sexual response. (The book also gives instructions on erection exercises involving a towel.) It was also the first place I learned about "edging," the practice of hovering on the brink of ejaculation without going over.
More important, it was also the first place I learned about two key things. One, our prostate (a walnut-size gland that produces a major component of semen) is an intensely erotic spot – some call it the "male G-spot" – and can be stimulated either from inside our butt, or from a spot between our scrotum and anus (the perineum). Second, there is a mental component to receiving pleasure. The most significant thing that keeps people from going to increasingly higher arousal levels is what Bauer calls "resistances." These are thoughts that distract you from pleasure. It is easy to learn to meditate these away, and the book describes how. The ideas in the book led me to my "most intense (ejaculatory) orgasm ever." It entailed me relaxing away my resistant thoughts while a partner stimulated my anus and my penis at the same time. Believe me, that felt incredible. I strongly recommend that book.
My next step toward multiple orgasm: A few years ago I went through a JackinWorld phase. I found it really exciting to learn all the techniques and to read about other's experiences with masturbation. It also made my love life with my wife even better as we explored some of the techniques. It was on JackinWorld that I first saw the word "edging." I knew the concept from the ESO book, but not the word. For the heck of it one day, I did a web search on "edging."
That lead me to my next step: I visited a site called aneros.com. (Note: The Aneros site is open only to those 18 and older. The other sites mentioned in this article are open to all.) The Aneros is a prostate stimulator, and it is an absolutely incredible invention. It was designed by urologists (doctors of your urinary and ejaculatory systems), incorporating ancient ideas from Asia. The Aneros is a hard piece of plastic that goes in your rectum. It is about as long and thick as a big person's slightly bent finger. The bend of the Aneros inside you positions it against your prostate. The end that sticks out of your butt has a piece that rests against your perineum (your external prostate stimulation spot), so it gets your prostate from two angles, inside and out. Here is the miraculous part: If you relax deeply and squeeze your butt the slightest amount, eventually your anus will start quivering (like what would happen to your arm if you held a weight for a long time). That quivering vibrates the Aneros, which in turn directs the vibrations to your prostate and anal canal. That feels really good. Your body's response is to quiver more, leading to a feedback loop between the good feelings in your prostate/anal canal and your anal sphincter, which is driving the vibration. With training, this leads to increasing pleasure, and eventually, intense non-ejaculatory anal and prostatic orgasms.
On the Aneros site is a forum – an incredible thing,with thousands of men discussing how to use the Aneros. One caution: Men differ on how quickly they learn to use it. Some men learn right away. More commonly, men struggle with it until they slowly but surely learn how to have pleasure that way, eventually leading to super-orgasms. Do not buy the Aneros if you expect to have instant non-ejaculatory orgasms. You need to train your body, which can take from days or weeks to months or more. The latest designs of the Aneros shorten the process. (I like the Helix model, but every person's body is different.)
In my case, I never had an orgasm from the Aneros, though I did have very good feelings. The main reason I didn't, I think, is that I have a preexisting condition where my pelvic-floor muscles are prone to pain. While the Aneros taught me how to "vibrate" my parts down there, it also caused me some pain. Few men have that condition (it's called chronic pelvic pain syndrome, and you'll know it if you have it), so the Aneros is most likely fine for you. Most men on the forum eventually report excellent success with the Aneros. By the way, the Aneros was originally developed to treat some other forms of chronic pain down there (prostatitis). The manufacturer has a second site, highisland.com, where the same device is sold under a different name for therapeutic use.
Because I wasn't having the best luck with the Aneros, I was glad to discover my next step. Somebody on the Aneros forum mentioned Jack Johnson's Multiples site, www.multiples.com. Jack is a psychologist who amazingly discovered a technique that produces arousal similar to the Aneros, but through breathing and a Key Sound. (His discovery predates the Aneros.) The Key Sound is a kind of deep erotic moan that augments arousal. In a way similar to the feedback loop of the Aneros, the Key Sound drives your body to produce increasingly intense pleasure waves, leading to non-ejaculatory orgasm.
On the Aneros forum men describe their prostate as being "activated." By this they mean that it has learned to pleasure itself autonomically (by involuntary muscular activity) through the Aneros training. Once your prostate is activated, it becomes very easy to produce "dry" orgasms, even without the Aneros. In my case, my real activation occurred when I starting practicing the Key Sound technique. It has gotten to the point that I don't really even need the Key Sound anymore. I can literally breath and concentrate myself, in a matter of minutes, into a multi-orgasmic state. Men, including myself, sometimes find the activation at first to be a mixed blessing. Why? Because you start feeling orgasmic at ridiculous times, like when riding a bus, or waiting for a train. (You don't actually have orgasms, but you have that excited feeling and know you could with the slightest effort.) That problem subsides as your body adjusts.
One more step in my multi-orgasm education: There is another product called the Slightest Touch (slightesttouch.com). It is a sophisticated and relatively affordable TENS (transdermal electric nerve stimulator) unit tuned to give pleasure to the pudendal nerve. That nerve goes through your pelvis, genitals, and legs and is very much involved in your sensation of erotic pleasure. The Slightest Touch was designed to help women who have trouble reaching orgasm. It applies a very mild current through electrodes affixed to your legs, causing pleasure waves. (Do not under any circumstances experiment with electricity on your body unless you are using a product specifically designed and approved for such purposes. You can easily become a corpse that way.) I only mention this product because its mode of stimulation works well with the Aneros or Key Sound techniques. My wife and I have had much pleasure from it, and it can be just the trick to push guys trying to learn those methods over into their first "dry" orgasm.
The actual learning, or training, took me a couple of years. But again, I was working under a serious handicap, my pain problems. (It's hard to enjoy pleasure when there is pain mixed in.) When I finally moved to the Key Sound exclusively, the whole thing clicked in a couple of months. The main trick to both methods is really relaxing and letting go of any expectation of having a "dry" orgasm. You have to enjoy the unusual pleasurable feelings of the pleasure waves for what they are, not for where they'll get you. The analogy I have used is that many of us, when we first try masturbation, don't even know what we are doing or that orgasm exists. We just do what feels good, and one day we keep on doing it to an unexpected climax. With these techniques, you just have to do what feels good and let go of any goals.
I went a long time with strong pleasurable feelings. I would cycle in and out of erections and leak "pre-cum," but with no orgasm. Then one day, I had a session in the morning and felt like orgasm was frustratingly close. Later that day, I had the strong impulse to try it again. I raced up to my bedroom and was so excited I virtually tore off my clothes. I lay on my back and tried my Key Sound method once more. It felt really good to be doing it again. I involuntarily spread my legs and put my feet together, and before I knew it, I felt the muscles in my crotch area kind of contracting with a minor sense of climax. I did it some more, and I had another faint orgasm. I had a bunch more, and, somewhat exalted, called it a day. The next session I was able to reproduce it, but the orgasms were a little stronger. Each day I tried, my body seemed to be going further with it. Each session was better than the last. A definite milestone was the first time I had an anal orgasm. I had heard that they were intense, and it was – I screamed into my pillow. Another milestone was my first prostate orgasm. I found that if I rode a pillow like a saddle, it gave me really good feelings in my prostate, leading to a really strong, wonderful orgasm. Yet another milestone was when, as I described above, I went into a zone of continuous orgasms for a full half-hour, involving my whole body. My latest milestone was being able to limit the orgasms to my upper body. This is helpful for me because the pelvic orgasms (anal and prostate) aggravate my pelvic-floor pain problem. I had orgasms for a good hour in my nipples, chest, stomach, and arms, grasping and hugging a pillow.
Now It's Your Turn
That's the end of the story of how I became multi-orgasmic. What do I recommend for you? First, I only recommend these techniques to guys who are definite self-pleasure "hobbyists," as the necessary methods take time to learn (but it is fascinating and fun as you go). Furthermore, unfortunately, the only real way to get started is to make a purchase. It's kind of a bummer, but you are paying for the benefit of hard-earned discoveries. You would need to buy either Jack Johnson's Key Sound audio seminar (about $30, download or CD) or the Aneros (which is in the neighborhood of $75).
The Slightest Touch is for the advanced hobbyist, although it will give your wife or girlfriend pleasure right off the bat; it costs about $140. The advantage of the Key Sound technique is that it is "natural" – it involves only your body – plus, it's the least expensive. Also, you can do it anywhere that you have sound privacy – in your clothes even – without messing around with an anal device (and the unavoidable hassle of lube). The purchase includes access to a forum and weekly online coaching sessions. The downside is that it probably takes longer to learn than the Aneros. In my case, I was partially "activated" by my prior experience with the Aneros. The advantage of the Aneros is that it has a huge user community and extremely active forum, so you'll have lots of help learning to use it. If you're in a rush to learn (which is usually counter-productive), and have the big bucks, you could get all three and cross-utilize them.
To me, it is 100% amazing that my body can do this. It is also 100% amazing that I live in a time in history that, through technology, I have access to books based on the scientific study of sexual arousal (ESO), web sites that pool the collective knowledge of males around the world on how to give themselves physical pleasure (JackinWorld), devices that urologists designed using advanced imaging techniques to give men prostate massages (Aneros), access through the web to a psychologist in Canada who figured out how to use vocalization to drive autonomic pleasure (Key Sound), and a device that uses microchip technology to produce an electrical wave designed to cause pudendal nerve pleasure (Slightest Touch).
Finally, it is amazing how much pleasure most men don't know they can have! So, explore and spread the word.