You can make a very effective "condom" of sorts for masturbation (not for intercourse!) using Kleenex tissues (preferably the lotioned kind). Start with 5 tissues (you can adjust the number depending on your penis size), fold 3 of the tissues in half along the crease that's usually there, and then wrap them around the base of your penis. Drape the other two tissues over the top opening so you can hold onto the edges with your hand. Then move up and down, and you've got yourself an easy, pleasurable ejaculation cleanup that can be flushed away with ease. You may want to make sure the whole thing is totally soaked through before flushing; otherwise it may plug up the toilet.
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If you're straight and use gay porn, how would you feel if someone found it?
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