Some responses favored "cybering" with another person, saying the experience enhanced their orgasms. Others did not. People who enjoy "cybering" described how the illusion of parallel sexual activity enhanced their experience of masturbation and orgasm. They tended to accept the relative anonymity of the Internet as either of no consequence, or as a tool to let them "try on" roles that otherwise might be unacceptable, such as cross-dressing or coming on to people whom they thought were older. Some who were favorable to "cyber-masturbation" mentioned tiring of it rather quickly after they first tried it.
For those with web-cam setups, some of the anonymity issues go away. They can actually determine whether they are communicating with a male or a female, for example. Still, the Internet provides some degree of protection because people are usually communicating with someone far away.
Finally, "cyber-masturbation" seems to work best for people who know each other outside the "cyber" relationship. The issue of identity accuracy goes away, and the "cyber" aspects of the relationship enhance the others. The biggest risk for people is when they become emotionally involved with a stranger on the Internet, where true identities can easily be hidden.]
This is my favorite way to masturbate. I love it when the other person describes what they are doing. I get really hot and have a more intense orgasm. I like to "cyber" with guys because we can talk about having sex with girls and various sexual experiences we've had.
- age 22, Louisiana
I've never really "cyber-masturbated," but one time I did a "cyber-backrub" with my best chick friend, which got pretty graphic. She said her neck hurt, so I said I'd give her a backrub, and went into close detail about what I would do to her. Then she reciprocated! I hope to do it for real some day.
- age 17, California
I have a camera attached to my computer. Once I voice-chatted online with a woman from New York. I asked her if she would be interested to see me masturbate online. She said she'd never seen a guy do that. I pointed my camera to my erect penis and started to masturbate. While I was doing it, we chatted all the time and she said she enjoyed it. This made me very aroused, and I had my orgasm within a few minutes. I also let her see me ejaculate. She was surprised and thanked me for letting her see me masturbate. She said she was happy to see me doing it.
- age 26, Sweden
It was with someone I knew from work. I don't recommend doing it with anyone you know. It makes things awkward afterwards!
- age 24, United Kingdom (female)
It was so funny as I look back — I mean, trying to type really fast with one hand so I could help the other do the obvious, then losing all control of the mouse to reply. And the whole time the other person was probably some big nasty liar anyway — I mean, it's the Internet! But I was 15 the first time and thought, "Man, this is *awesome* — I'm sharing my biggest secret with a stranger!" I thought no one in the world knew I did this, but they did at that moment. It was, like, the biggest taboo lifter. I think that's what made me so excited. And by the way, the results, especially for back then, were very, um, fulfilling?
- age 19, Nevada
I have tried it and found myself able to enjoy it only while being stimulated visually at the same time (for example, video-to-video chat). I found I couldn't do it any other way, because it just seems boring without visuals.
- age 24, Connecticut
"It wasn't much more than written-down phone-sex."
I've "cyber-masturbated" with my girlfriend over e-mail. It wasn't much more than written-down phone-sex — just telling each other what we were doing, and what we'd like to be doing. The hardest part was waiting for the messages! We would have about 5 going at any given time just so there would always be something new in the mailbox when we'd finished typing.
- age 23, Ontario, Canada
My husband and I had been fighting for several weeks, and I had met a guy on the Internet. We had been talking every day for several months, so I got to know him very well. We talked about sex and life. One day when we talked I was horny to begin with. He said the right things to me, so I got more and more excited. Finally I excused myself and went to get my vibrator. I let him keep talking about what he wanted to do to me while I applied the vibrator. I had an incredible orgasm, which I hadn't had for quite a while. Then I signed off and took a nap. It was great!
- age 38, New Jersey (female)
I have "cyber-masturbated" many times. Each time it's more enjoyable than when I do it alone. When I masturbate by myself, my mind tends to wander to different subjects, and I lose focus of what I'm doing. But when you "cyber-masturbate" your mind stays focused, and the fantasy seems more real. Maybe it's just psychological, but it makes a huge difference.
- age 17, Australia
I have tried to "cyber-masturbate," but without success. Perhaps it's because I'm sitting up (I find it almost impossible to maintain an erection in any position except lying down). Or, it might be the difficulty of typing with one hand — or maybe it's the pressure to perform. I never seem to be able to climax with "cyber-masturbation." I usually have to finish in my bed because I get too frustrated trying to masturbate under these conditions.
- age 43, Tennessee
I work for an adult soft-porn site, so I masturbate with many men (and sometimes women) at my "job." It's fun, and I think it's a relatively harmless way to get a little extra excitement. Also, I do genuinely enjoy this work!
- age 21, Colorado (female)
When I would have liked to "cyber-masturbate," I was living with my parents. The risk of discovery was too high because my mother had one closet in my room — so she would just drop in.
- age 33, Finland
It was weird — comparable to a one-night stand. And it was hard to masturbate and type at the same time.
- age 16, Maryland
No, I haven't "cyber-masturbated". Since I normally use a hands-free method, I'm not sure I'd find it all that interesting, anyway. I wonder about the ethics of doing this. Certainly it would not be appropriate for me to "cyber-masturbate" with a 15-year-old — worse yet, to pose as a 15-year-old for that purpose. I've never objected to my son visiting JackinWorld — in fact, I even encourage it. Still, I'm not sure I'd want him to cyber-masturbate, because you can't be sure who is on the other end. I think you should encourage your readers to be very careful when and if they decide to "cyber-masturbate."
- age 41, Colorado
I personally think it's dumb to have "cyber-sex" or to "cyber-masturbate." You never know if the person is telling the truth about his or her age or gender.
- age 14, Idaho
As a teen I would "cyber-masturbate" regularly with others I'd find in chat rooms. The orgasms were usually better than when I masturbated by myself. I stopped after a while when I dated a guy long-distance (ironically). When we became strictly monogamous but still lived far apart, we decided to masturbate together while talking online. To this day, those were the best orgasms I've ever had. He would describe his surroundings and what he was doing. I'd do the same for him. It was so arousing to know how he looked and envision how things felt because we actually did have experiences together; yet we allowed our imaginations to "fill in the blanks" of what we had not done.
- age 20, Massachusetts
It was fun. I had never masturbated to orgasm before, and I said so in a chat room. Then a guy PM'd me to ask if he could teach me how to go all the way. I said "okay" and followed his every written word. To make a long story short, I orgasmed for the first time that night.
- age 16, New York (female)
I have found that masturbating to a person's ideas being typed in a private message box is a good alternative to my usual fantasies during masturbation. It is key for the person typing to be focused solely on the person masturbating. The typist should type quickly and keep the "story" going. Lots of detail is best. Not having too much foreplay usually gets me going in a hurry! Remember that it's usually more satisfying to a woman if your fantasy involves something *she* would enjoy having done to her! I usually use a vibrator while the person is typing. Then as I have my orgasm, I type "YYYYYYY" to let them know that YES, they were doing something right! Then we usually switch so the person on the other end is masturbating and I am focusing my typing solely on them.
- age 29, Virginia (female)
I don't understand "cyber-sex." Someone says something to the effect of, "I'm giving you oral sex now." I look down but there's nobody there. What's the deal?
- age 21, Washington
I had just purchased a video chat program and camera, and I wanted to try it out. So I went to a teen chat room and started to chat with a guy who was 16. We got on the topic of masturbation, and then he asked me if I'd like to see him masturbate (he had video chat, too). So he masturbated for me. Then I returned the favor. It turned out to be an awesome experience to have my own personal show, and it really turned me on. I still meet with this guy every once in a while to "let loose" with him.
- age 16, Nebraska
I had an online relationship with a girl for a long time. We would "cyber-masturbate" often. Then one night we decided to actually do what we were typing. She told me to sit back and watch the messages scroll, imagine she was with me, and do what she told me to do. She made me start off slow and work faster and faster. She had both of my hands working all over my penis. It lasted a long, long time — and the combination of instruction, imagination, and stroking made for an amazing orgasm. I don't ever remember ejaculating so much. The mess was worth it.
- age 21, Indiana
Never done it, never will.
- age 16, Norway
Although I generally find "cyber-sex" (and even non-sex chatting) cold and boring, I had one interesting time with a young bi-curious fellow who was keying from his college dorm. What interested me was the blurry line between fantasy and reality. I embellished a tale of a roommate I once lived with, telling how our household had developed into a masturbation-friendly zone. The atmosphere of this conversation became electric and we both got hot. As I was about to climax, I got myself ready and at the right moment typed: "!" When he came, he responded: "***************". I saved the transcript and still find it strangely moving.
- age 36, Ontario, Canada
I find the idea just plain pathetic. You have no idea what the person looks like at times, and you are masturbating to words. I prefer to keep to one-on-one.
- age 15, Rhode Island
I've actually "cyber-masturbated" with several guys I don't know. I'm straight and I've never pursued guys, but they just instant-message me and ask if I want sex. It's weird but cool, because I get turned on knowing someone is that hot for me. So I'll masturbate while they describe what they want to do to me. I gotta tell you, they know what gets a guy off better than any girl!
- age 22, New York
"It gives me a way to live out fantasies I would otherwise never share."
I do this often. I like to meet girls, or at least people who claim to be girls. (As long as I keep the fantasy in my mind, it's real enough for me.) Or, if I'm in that kind of mood, I'll meet guys in a chat room online, preferably one that isn't sexually oriented. I flirt, talk, and seduce, until one of us asks if the other wants to "cyber." If the other party agrees, we go into a private chat room and continue, very much like phone sex except typed instead of spoken. Occasionally I enter a chat room (once again, preferably non-sexual) under the guise of a girl with the pretense of finding another girl and continue from there! It gives me a way to live out fantasies I would otherwise never share with anyone else — gender-role transferal and cross-dressing. I would never tell my girlfriend about these things. It's a safe way for me to enjoy my feelings.
- age 19, Massachusetts
I "cyber-masturbated" a few times when I first started to use a gay chat room. I was still discovering my sexuality, so the first time was quite novel and a huge turn-on — even though it was pretty amateurish as I look back. The second guy who did it to me was excellent — besides describing what he was doing to me, he somehow built up the tension, kept repeating the word "harder," and I was helping him by saying how good it felt. I tried the same technique with another guy, and it seemed to work for him, too. Overall, though, the novelty soon wore off — and it sure messes up your keyboard!
- age 39, United Kingdom
I was chatting with a guy about the current month's Penthouse, and we were both looking at the same issue. I mentioned I was getting an erection, and so did he. We were both masturbating and telling each other what we were doing as we masturbated. Then we shared masturbation techniques as we continued to masturbate. When I ejaculated I told him where it went, and he did likewise. We've since had similar experiences, with our girlfriends present. They have also gotten together online for mutual masturbation alone and with us guys present.
- age 52, Virginia
I have had a "cyber" sessions with friends. When we were chatting we started to talk about sex. Then I started to masturbate. My friends said they were doing likewise. I enjoyed this kind of masturbation.
- age 21, Peru
One night in a chat room, I got an e-mail from a young girl asking if I wanted to have "cyber-sex." She described her measurements, and what she was wearing. Then she described taking off her clothes, and her nipple size. They were like a silver dollar in diameter, and she was shaved below. She told me how she was touching herself. All this time I was playing with myself until I ejaculated. It happened only once, but it really turned me on. I saw her screen name other nights when she was online. It seems she liked to come on to older guys. It was fun talking dirty to her!
- age 50, California
I don't "cyber" because the typing is too distracting. I can't see how people type and get off at the same time. I admit I have faked "cyber-orgasms" with people because I was flattered that they would want to "cyber" with me. On the other hand, I *have* masturbated often while reading "certain" web sites!
- age 24, Pennsylvania
I have often connected with fellows in the chat rooms and discussed masturbation. Then we would agree to masturbate together by discussing what we were doing and feeling. I guess that because I'm a writer I've been pretty successful at helping a lot of other guys (and always myself) achieve many satisfying orgasms this way. Of course, you can't always be sure what's really happening on the other end, but "cyberspace" has its own kind of erotic magic as well as limitations. It's a lot of fun to describe ourselves to each other, give each other suggestions of strokes to try, discuss using lube and various techniques.
- age 44, Texas
I have "cyber-masturbated" several times, and each time it was enjoyable. When I choose to do it, though, I want to get to know the guy that I am chatting with first. His interests, whether he is involved in sports, what he's studying, his age, and what he looks like are a few of the more important things. If the vibes seem good the conversation can turn to topics like sex and masturbation. If we "connect," it is a great experience to move into "cyber." One guy I've done "cyber" with e-mails me periodically, and I do the same for him. However, I never "cyber" unless I feel comfortable with the guy I am chatting with, and even then I don't do it often.
- age 19, Kentucky
I have had "cyber" sex several times. I enjoyed it most with a modest girl from Australia, rather than other sessions that were fast and rough. In fact, I write to her every day now, and we have become very close. We might even meet this year! This was not my intention originally. It was supposed to be just for fun, but now we are getting really involved and we are being consumed by each other's existence. My advice to anyone would be that you should seriously consider whether to get involved with someone on the Internet!
- age 30, Holland
I masturbated online twice with two other guys my age. It was cool! We talked about how we felt at different points in the session and discussed ways we usually masturbate. I think it would have been better to experience this with someone face-to-face, but the Internet is great when you want to talk to others and remain completely safe. The nice thing about the Net is that if you decide you don't want to continue interacting the way you are, you can just quit.
- age 16, Pennsylvania