I am getting bolder. I just had an hour-long discussion with my 17-year-old stepson about masturbation. He is obviously very comfortable discussing it with his guy and gal friends. He said all his girl friends say they have done it at least once. I joked with him and said all my guy friends have done it at least once...a day!
- age 40, Arkansas
This Week's Wackiest Response:
I would feed him nasty stew and blow my nose on his shirt. Then I would say, "How often do you use Vaseline?"
- age 15, Alabama
I *never* speak openly about masturbation. Should the topic arise, I would talk normally, but I still wouldn't feel like starting a discussion myself. If I *did* want to bring up the topic, I would get the other person to bring it up. (I'm good at subliminal/indirect messages, such as commenting on a certain girl so the other person says, "She's so cute; looking at her, I could masturbate for hours." Then I would say, "Yeah, me too."
- age 16, Spain
Conversations about my masturbation habits are only with male friends and with my wife. Generally, we discuss it in humor or in the heat of the moment, when it's that time of the month and I want some quick help from the Mrs. To openly begin a conversation would probably be okay. Just start out with an opener like, "So, still spanking it?" Or, "If have to masturbate any more, I'll go blind!" These openers could be taken to a more frank discussion level.
- age 34, New Jersey
I don't have to break the ice. Everyone at my school, and all of my friends, don't care. You can start talking about it and 3 people may join in and be like, "Oh yeah. I know. I love that." And sometimes, even the girls get in on it. It's quite acceptable to talk about masturbation here.
- age 15, California
I would discuss, and have discussed, the topic with very close friends — both male and female. The topic usually comes up while talking about sex in general. If I felt the need to bring up the topic, I would take the conversation in the direction of sex in general.
- age 42, Kentucky
I'm not very open about masturbation. Sometimes I wish I had somebody to talk to about all of this. I even wish that I had somebody who would masturbate with me. I'm not sure if it'll ever happen, but I'm trying to work up to it. Next time one of my friends is over, maybe I'll just bring up the topic and let things happen.
- age 15, Colorado
It depends on the person. The best way to talk about masturbation is to joke about it. The joke should be neutral, so that if the person is for or opposed to masturbation, you know how to approach the conversation.
- age 21, Massachusetts
I don't discuss masturbation at all (except on JackinWorld). I would find it very hard to start talking about it with anyone — mostly because so many people think it's bad. I don't know what people would think or say.
- age 13, Minnesota
I am not very open about masturbation. During junior high and early high school when I was still trying to understand it, I talked about it with some frequency. Now that I know plenty about it, I consider it a personal, private affair. I would discuss it only with a close friend. In that case, I would just ask a straightforward question.
- age 18, Ohio
When I talk about masturbation, it is usually in a joking way. I rarely talk about it in a serious way — such as how often I do it or how I do it. If I wanted to talk about it, I might joke around first — like talk about a movie with masturbation in it (such as "American Pie"). Or, I might make a joke like, "Are you part of the 99% that masturbate, or the 1% that lie about it?" Games like truth or dare also break the ice.
- age 17, Wisconsin
I am not open at all to discussing masturbation. I wish I were. I discussed masturbation when I was in therapy with a female therapist. I started slowly and then opened up completely. It would have been more difficult with a male therapist, I think. I have discussed masturbation with a lady friend in my recent past and we became very close, I feel because of the openness we had discussing sex and masturbation. That is why I think JackinWorld is beneficial to me and to others. It brings masturbation to the forefront.
- age 54, Illinois
I don't talk about masturbation at all, even though it's no big deal for me. Most people are mature enough to understand — masturbation is something we do privately, so shouldn't it be something we keep to ourselves as well? To break the ice I might talk about how it's the best thing in the world when you can satisfy yourself so well.
- age 15, Massachusetts
I usually discuss masturbation only with my boyfriend, and even then, I don't feel much need to tell him the details. He knows that I think it's an important part of a person's life, but I don't demonstrate that by discussing it. If I were to bring it up, I would handle it like a friend did with me when he asked, "Can I ask you a personal question? How often do you masturbate?" This is direct, but also warns a person that something is coming and provides the opportunity to avoid it.
- age 32, Minnesota
I normally don't feel the need to "break the ice." I know which of my friends are truly open about it and which are insecure and would make fun of it. Today, teenagers are too scared that they won't fit into society because they are different or not like their friends. It's a shame, but we must work around it.
- age 16, New York
When my boys were growing up, I was always open with them about this and any other subjects they puzzled over. I told them there was nothing wrong with masturbation unless it is done openly in public or against the will of the people involved. I broke the ice with them by telling them outright that I do it. I shared with them the different ways to do it. It's too bad this site was not around then; I could have sent them here for even more ideas and methods.
- age 57, California
I've always found it quite hard to discuss masturbation with anyone. The only person I have talked about this subject with is my best friend, and even that occurred only after years of (no pun intended) beating around the bush. As to how I would break the ice with, say, my dad? I don't think I could, even if my life depended on it. I think that's sad. I was never told straight out that masturbation was a sin, but neither have I been told that it's okay. Thank God there are people like you at this site who let people feel good about this totally normal event.
- age 17, Missouri
My roommate and I are actually open about it with each other. We didn't know one another when we moved in together, so it took a while for the subject to come up. I think it all started when we had been out drinking one night and he said he was going to rub one out before bed — we just started talking on and on about it from there. Whenever one of us gets a good Playboy, we are more than ready to share it with the other!
- age 22, Connecticut
I don't talk that much about masturbation, mainly because I'm too afraid of what the other person would think. I do have one friend with whom I discuss it, mainly because he is the one who taught me how to do it. He jokes a lot and thought up a neat name for it. So I know that if we talk about it, he will call it a "one-some" — like a threesome, but by yourself.
- age 16, California
Talking about my masturbation was difficult up to 3 years ago, when I met a very open young man. We are both married and quite straight; but we're also very open about our sex lives with our wives and also our masturbation. It is a great feeling to have someone to share this with —even the things we don't share with anyone else.
- age 58, Illinois
If I'm talking with another guy around my age, I'm open to discussing masturbation with him. It actually turns me on to talk about stuff like that, and many times talking about it usually leads to actually doing it with a friend. I break the ice by starting to talk about girls or pornos and then refer (usually jokingly) to masturbating about those thoughts. Then I try to keep the conversation on masturbation as long as the other guy seems okay about it. Often, the next thing I know, we're sharing techniques and sometimes even trying them with each other.
- age 16, Tennessee
I talk to my best friend very openly about it. We also do it together — even on the phone. It's awesome!
- age 18, Germany
Discussing my masturbation habits with someone would be great, but I don't know anyone who would talk seriously about it. Plenty of guys joke about it, but they never actually tell the truth. I can't imagine telling my friends (or my parents!) about how I wank every chance I get! The best way to break the ice, I have found, is to have a friend sleep over. For some reason, when guys spend the night in my room, we open up much more easily.
- age 16, Connecticut
I usually say my brother told me this or that, but it's really me talking. Why am I so embarrassed about something I love?
- age 13, Ireland
I have several friends with whom I discuss my masturbation habits and techniques. We feel that it's normal, and we all gain from each other's experiences. If I had to break the ice with someone about it, I would just start out joking about my morning session and see how they take it from there. That usually works for my pals and me.
- age 30, New Hampshire
With my friends, I discuss masturbation openly. It's accepted as something that everyone does. However, I've never discussed it with my parents. I think they know that I do it, but we never discuss it.
- age 13, Illinois
As I was walking home, my friend told me that he found out about masturbation when he was in his bedroom. I told him about how I had found out through this site. We both talked about masturbation on the way to his house, and then he asked me in for a drink and to play on his Xbox. So I did, and after a while, we started talking about masturbation again. Soon, we both agreed to masturbate. So I guess the answer to this question is that I am open about my masturbation habits.
- age 14, United Kingdom
It depends on the person. Usually, with male friends, the topic arises as a negative implication that I don't have sex very often. Right away, then, it has a stigma. With a woman, I have no problem at all (girlfriend, romantic acquaintances, etc.). Then, I feel more masculine to admit that I masturbate nearly every day.
- age 24, Massachusetts
Well, I feel comfortable talking about masturbating, but other people seem to have a problem with it. I've talked with a lot of older people in high school about it, because they are more open. I usually break the ice, or someone breaks the ice just by getting to know the person and then talking about getting laid and different sexual things, but nothing too personal. Then, I just "drop the bomb" and ask, "Do you choke the chicken?"
- age 13, Kansas
I never talk to anyone about my masturbating. Only a couple of times have I talked about it with my friend, and one of the times we were masturbating in the same room.
- age 16, Denmark
I still don't discuss masturbation with my friends. It often makes them nervous, and most deny they do it. But I discuss masturbation openly with my gay friends online.
- age 15, Hawaii
My best friend and I talk about masturbation daily. We talk about when we did it last, how we did it, and when we'll do it again. We also occasionally masturbate together and share sex toys like fake vaginas. We talk about it as commonly as the weather or work! However, other than my girlfriend, he's the only person I'd trust enough to discuss it with.
- age 21, North Carolina
I always talk about my masturbation habits with girls and my friends. As 15-year-olds, we are all open about masturbation. Even sometimes with my dad, when I need lotion, I ask him to get me some. He understands that it is normal for kids our age to masturbate.
- age 15, Georgia
I believe your masturbation habits should be kept to yourself, unless you are married, and then your wife should be informed about it. If you are not married, you can confide in a close friend. To break the ice about my masturbating, I would show my close friend a book I have about masturbation, which tells about when it's appropriate when it's inappropriate to masturbate.
- age 62, Michigan
It's interesting. As I've got older, my openness about masturbation has gone full circle. When my friends and I were 13, it was nearly all we talked about. Then from about 14 to 15, we just didn't discuss it. Now I'm 16, going on 17, and it is openly discussed, and everyone acknowledges doing it. So now, if any of us needs or wants to talk about it, we do.
- age 16, United Kingdom
I am quite open about masturbation. When I talk to my friends about it, they usually say they don't masturbate — that it's gross. I tell them that almost everyone does it. After a while, they become more open when they find I am not embarrassed. I don't talk about people I know who do it, I just let my friend know that I do and enjoy it. Masturbation is safe sex that feels great. When they tell others that I do it, I let them know I am proud I can, and love every minute I do it.
- age 13, Florida
I don't even bring it up with my doctor. If I had to, I would say that I don't date, but I'm sexually active. Go from there.
- age 44, Illinois
With the exception of my best friend at school, I find it impossible to talk to anybody (especially my parents) about masturbation. With my friend, we initially started talking about pornographic acts we had seen on videotape, including close-ups of penetration and ejaculation. I mentioned that watching this gave me an erection and made me want to stroke the tip of my penis. My friend said the same, and soon we were talking about every aspect of masturbation, including our first experiences and the techniques that we use. It was a great weight off my shoulders to be able to talk so freely.
- age 14, Germany
I have discussed masturbation in real life only with my wife. Since she was totally disinterested, after several attempts, I dropped the subject. She understands that I do it, but it is a "don't ask, don't tell" situation. However, I have discussed masturbation in detail with others online. I have found various forums where such discussion is lively and illuminating. The anonymity of the Net allows people to exchange thoughts about this most personal element of sexuality.
- age 35, Florida
I don't openly discuss this subject, except with my brother. He is 11 and just entering puberty, so he always has a lot of questions that he's afraid to ask an adult because he thinks they're stupid. Anyway, if I wanted to break the ice, I would probably ask a general question like, "Do you masturbate?" or "When did you start masturbating?"
- age 13, Missouri
I feel comfortable with my masturbation. I know that almost all guys do it, even it they may not admit to it. I have no problem discussing it with most people. But for some reason, I find it easier to talk to females about masturbation. Maybe I just hope it will lead to a mutual session with them, or to sex.
- age 23, California
I talk openly about masturbation with my friends, but they get grossed out. Everyone around here pretends they don't do it.
- age 14, Washington
Never! I would have a hard time discussing my masturbation habits with somebody else. I do it very lightly with my girlfriends (like, I like doing it this way...) and I came close to discussing it with this masturbation-freak of a friend. He always talks about his habits (like for how long, techniques, etc.) — but I could never bring myself to talk about myself.
- age 20, California
I am open about my masturbating. I talk with my male friends about the different ways I masturbate. My girlfriend thinks it's cool to see the semen shoot out of my penis, and we talk about that quite often. I really like to mutually masturbate with her. I have not talked about masturbating with my parents much, but I feel freer to talk to my dad about it than my mom. I think if I had to talk with someone my own age about it, I would just say what I had to say about it. We all do it, so it is no big deal to me.
- age 14, North Carolina
I very openly discuss the topic, mostly with my best (gay) guy friend. He actually encouraged me to start masturbating (yes, at age 22) and showed me this site. With any current boyfriend, I usually ask him if he masturbates, because I am intrigued. I am interested mostly in what he thinks about. I would never expect a boy to stop because he was in a relationship, but it's nice if he's honest about it. Just last night I showed this site to one of my chat buddies, and after reading some stories, we started openly chatting about his habits. I'm very comfortable about discussing sex and sexual topics, though, so last night wasn't anything hugely different for me.
- age 22, Missouri (female)
I am very open about masturbation. A girl I like asks me about it all the time, and I let her know. In turn, she tells me about her masturbation habits. It's a big turn-on for me, and we both enjoy hearing about it. I think it's healthy to talk about it.
- age 15, Idaho
With my friends, ever since a camping trip a few years back, we've been very open about the whole thing. I even have one friend with whom I openly discuss my sex life. It's almost a bonding thing. If I had to bring up the topic with just anyone, I'd say to just be yourself. It's not like a big mystery, just a "touchy" topic.
- age 18, Connecticut
The Internet enables you to exchange information and become "alone" by minimizing a window. I am thinking of discussing masturbation online with my cousin, who is 15, when there is nobody else in either of our houses. I definitely intend to point him to JackinWorld then. If it were, say, my future partner, I would raise the topic in the heat of a sexual act, after preparation to brush aside any "counter-arguments" she might have. And yet, who knows? I've never discussed masturbation with anyone and might well be wrong about my speculations.
- age 17, Latvia
I talk about it with my mum but I would be embarrassed to talk about it with anyone else, especially my friends, because my mum told me to be careful who I talked to about it. Lots of kids would be immature and tease me. I talk to my mum about it because I didn't know what was happening to me when I started to get erections as I was just starting puberty. I thought something was wrong with me because my penis kept getting hard and sticking up all the time. She explained everything about puberty, sex, and masturbation, got me some books, and helped me to find some sites on the Web — including JackinWorld. Still, sometimes I wish I had a big brother or a dad to discuss it with.
- age 13, Australia
I can discuss masturbation with my single mom easily, and with one of my buds. My mom accidentally walked in on me masturbating a couple of years ago, and I was very embarrassed. She later explained that it was cool and most everybody does it, including her. Not too long after that, she told me about JackinWorld, because a friend of hers at work also has a teenage son who visits the site. She thought it would help me since I don't have a dad. It did, and I love her.
- age 15, Florida