One day, a kid walks in on his brother and his girlfriend having sex. He says, "What are you doing?" and his brother replies, "I'm playing poker – she's the queen and I'm the king. The kid leaves, not knowing any better.
About a week later, the boy walks in on his parents having sex and says, "Dad, what are you doing?" and his father replies, "I'm playing poker – she's the queen and I'm the king." He leaves again, not knowing any better.
The next day, the boy's brother walks in on him masturbating and says, "What are you doing?" and the kid says, "I'm playing poker." "Where's the queen?" his brother asks, and the kid replies, "Why do I need a queen when I've got a hand like this?"
STORIES
A very repressed married couple could never bring themselves to talk about "sex," so they always referred to it as "doing the laundry."
One evening, the husband was feeling romantic, so he suggested his wife come upstairs with him, so they could "do the laundry." She declined, saying she had a headache.
Later that night, the wife slid into bed next to her husband, and told him she was willing to help him do the laundry now. He replied, "That's all right, dear. It was a small load, so I did it by hand."
Billy's father had a lot of guns around the house and was always telling Billy things about guns and how to take care of them, etc. Well, one day Billy was in the tub masturbating, and his mother walked in just as he was ejaculating. She stormed out, and Billy chased after her, saying, "I wasn't playing with myself! I was just cleaning it and it went off!"
There was an elderly couple who wanted to have a child. They went to the doctor, and the doctor told them they were rather old to have a child, but he decided to test the man for a sperm count anyway. He gave them a jar to take home and told the man to produce a sperm sample and bring the bottle back to the office.
Two days later, the couple went back to the doctor's office. The man told the doctor there was a problem. "I tried with my right hand, and then I tried with his left hand, but no results," he said. "Then my wife tried with her right hand and also her left hand, and she even used her mouth – with her teeth in and her teeth out – but we still couldn't get the lid off the jar."
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