I have been playing with my penis since I was a child. My mom told me not to put my hands in my pants, but she didn't tell me anything when I played with it during a bath or in my bed. My first embarrassing incident was at age 5. I stayed in a hotel with my grandmother, and I woke up with a strong erection. I grabbed it and just kept it in my right hand. Suddenly my grandmother started to get up and uncovered me, too, for a bit. She asked me what I was doing in my pajamas. I pulled out my hand and did not say anything. Fortunately she did not say anything more.
My first introduction to the wonderful world of penises and masturbation occurred when I was in 5th grade. I was toddling from my classroom out to the playground when my best friend yelled out my name. I turned around. My buddy was wearing a pair of loose-fitting sweatpants and he had a monster erection — well, monster by 5th-grade standards. "Hard as a rock!" he yelled excitedly. I smiled obliviously. What was that supposed to mean? The next morning, I asked my mom what it meant when my penis got hard. Predictably, she turned beet-red and told me to ask my father.
My relationship with masturbation began sometime when I was about 10 or 11, although it had been developing for a while. I was in the 5th grade, and we had, after much anticipation and fear, completed the dreaded one-hour puberty class surprisingly painlessly. Though maddeningly vague and cutesy, it did, thankfully, explain to me what an erection was — a phenomenon I had experienced for years, and that I was wholly convinced was a freak mutation unique to myself.
I remember the first time I masturbated like it was yesterday. I was 12 years old; it was a Saturday in mid April. The night before, I had stubbed my toe, and I was lying on my parents' bed waiting for it to stop bleeding, when some church visitors came over and my parents had to go downstairs and visit with them. My parents had just purchased satellite TV, with all of the movie channels.
I began the process of discovering self-pleasuring in the summer before 7th grade at, of all places, a church retreat. A kid at the pool we went to was staying over by the jet where the water comes out, watching a girl. When I asked what he was doing, he said I was too young to understand (which confused me, because I thought I was older than he was), but he did say that it "felt good."
I'm currently 22 years old and fresh out of college. Masturbation has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember, and it still is. I'm proud of my daily habit and am open about masturbation with my friends. It wasn't always like that, though — I remember being very ashamed of it as a child. I'd like to share all the notable experiences that I've had in my life that make up my masturbation "history," as well as those events that eventually led me to the healthy views on masturbation that I have today.
As of July of this year, I am no longer a teenager. I turned 20 and left my awkward, gangly years behind me. If only I knew then what I know now, growing up would have been so much easier.
It all started 10 years ago, when I was 9. I was always embarrassed to admit that, but in some way, I've always felt I accomplished something. I know people who hadn't masturbated until they were 13, and some who claim to have never done it. (Liars!) Well, all I have to say is that they don't know what they're missing.
I knew about masturbation long before I actually did it, although I didn't exactly know what it was. For at least a year before my first orgasm (at age 12) I was looking in every medical book I could find to see if I could learn how to do it, and if anyone asked why I was looking through medical books, I covered it up by saying there was someone at school with a strange facial condition and I wanted to find out what it was. Well, that was kind of true; there was someone at school with this facial condition that made her face look all blotchy.
Though I learned to masturbate at a young age, my first ejaculations were the result of "wet dreams." At first, I didn't realize what was happening; I assumed I was wetting the bed or something, even though I was too old for that. I felt very embarrassed, and therefore, I did not tell my parents. The nocturnal emissions were somewhat enjoyable, despite the inconvenience of having to change pajamas in the middle of the night without waking up my little brother. I didn't remember anything the first time, but in a later incident, I woke up shortly afterward and my penis felt wonderful.